Sunday, February 28, 2010

Yes I want to know!

I know I have been MIA from my blog for a few days now. I am sorry. School pretty much had my attention all week and I really didnt have the time for anything else, that being said on to blogging.

I think my biggest concern when I am interested in a guy is how to act? I never know what is appropriate behaviour, Do I have to be careful as to what I should say to him, are there certain questions that should not be asked because he is not my boyfriend and to use the word of my friend "obligated" to me? Is it okay if he treats me in a particular way because we are not dating? I mean really how do you act when dealing with someone you are interested in without him running of scared. I think my biggest concern during those times are what can I do to make him think I am not overly demanding and bossy but at the same time not appearing too weak in his eyes?


Seriously? I think when dealing with a man. There is no right or wrong way. If a man is genuinely interested in you and he has gotten to know you well he enough, he will deal with whatever you throw his way(as long as you dont have psycho or stalker tendencies) and if he runs off scared then you dont need him.


I think when dealing with a man its important to lay down the foundation as to what you expect from him and what you are willing to give to him. Yes you may not be "official" yet, but does that mean he can go about flirting with other women in your face just because you guys are not dating?

After reading Steve Harvey's " Act like a lady, Think like a man" I learnt that it okay to ask a man from the bat, what his intentions are with you, and to let him know how you should be treated. Its a lot difficult to allow a man to treat you in a particular way and then if and when he makes you his girl you suddenly switch up on him and expect him to treat you differently because now you are "wifey". Granted, some things cannot be asked from a man you are dating and yes he may not be obligated to you at that moment but it doesnt mean that you cannot expect him to treat you in the manner you want to be treated.

I know I am guilty for this, Anytime I am dealing with a guy I am interested in, I find I pretty much allow him to treat me in any manner whatsoever because I feel he is not obligated to me. I get upset when he upsets me but I never express myself because I dont want to scare him off and think I am over sensitive. There are soo many things I let them get away with but then deep inside I am crying. The sad part is, if a friend treated me in that same manner I would not let them hear the end of it. What makes him any different?

I am learning now it's important to lay down the foundation early as to how I want the relationship to go. If he is scared and runs off then so be it, but its important that I am treated with respect and kindness and if I am not being treated that way I think is time to move on. Of course you must treat him the way you wish to be treated but dont ever feel he is not "obligated" to you so some things are okay to let slide. I like to believe most men are clueless, so half the time they assume if you havent mentioned it, then its not a problem. It's important to speak up and let him know what can and cannot work for you. Eerything within reason obviously but dont be afraid to get the treatement you require. You deserve it!

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