Bring back the 90s

My title I know probably suggest a few things....One I may be reminscing about the 90s and realised how much fun I had or 2, I am in my 90's rnb mode and realised how great music was back then. If you are thinking 1 or 2 you are on the right track but not necessarily right on point.

Okay so for the past couple of days I have been listening to 90's rnb and maybe a few early 2000's and comparing it to music today, they definitely had it right back then. Music today in my humble opinion has lost its way. We focus too much on the beat than on the lyrics and when we do actually listen to the lyrics its talking about how to mistreat each other, how we have very little respect for ourselves and quite frankly our over hyped sexuality. It seems like in this day and age sex is ruling the world! If you are not having any you suck and if you are having some, its about how many people can you get! Our music has lost respect for the craft and for the people who listen to it.

Listening to 90s music, I do realise there was a lot of talk about sexuality but I noticed that it was more about making love than it was about having sex or to be extremely blunt and crass...fucked! There is no such thing as trying to make you my wife, now its about how many baby mammas do I have or how can I make you eat me out the right way...its sad but our music in my personal opinion has gone down the drain.

Well now lets talk about how the music is influencing our lives. So I am an 80s baby and in the 90s I was heading into my teens, My experience with men in my teens were very rare...if he wasnt a friend I played ball with I had no business with him so maybe I may not know what I am talking about here but bare with me. In my very humble opinion I like to think that men back in the 90's had more respect for women, they treated them better, they spoke to them better and quite frankly the men were better. Fast forward to 2010, It seems like men dont have any respect for us. The little things that were not tolerated back in the day seems to be the norm these days. With the advancement of technology it seems like men for some reason have just lost it! They dont care about how they make women feel, how they treat them or if they even matter.

Now I am not saying all the men in this decade are like that. I know quite a number of decent men and I know quite a number of trifling women. Yes some of us are to blame for the way the men treat us. Its not soley their faults but it just seems like a lot is going now in relationships that just makes no sense and I am trying to make sense of it all! Men now just seem more rude, more crass and just less respectful. They really dont care whose feelings they hurt or who they have to step on. I like to consider myself quite respectful and I like to treat other people with respect but it just seems like the more respect I show others the more disrespect I get. Are my expectations too high? Do I honestly believe I am all that and maybe I am not and thats why i am disrespected? Of course no one has done anything crazy like treat me like the Situation did to that silly girl on the last episode of Jersey shore for those of you who watched but it just seems like common curteousy and respect is out the window.... I dont know.. In my opinion they just dont make them like they used to!

Can someone please bring back the 90s????

your thoughts?

Yes I want to know!

I know I have been MIA from my blog for a few days now. I am sorry. School pretty much had my attention all week and I really didnt have the time for anything else, that being said on to blogging.

I think my biggest concern when I am interested in a guy is how to act? I never know what is appropriate behaviour, Do I have to be careful as to what I should say to him, are there certain questions that should not be asked because he is not my boyfriend and to use the word of my friend "obligated" to me? Is it okay if he treats me in a particular way because we are not dating? I mean really how do you act when dealing with someone you are interested in without him running of scared. I think my biggest concern during those times are what can I do to make him think I am not overly demanding and bossy but at the same time not appearing too weak in his eyes?


Seriously? I think when dealing with a man. There is no right or wrong way. If a man is genuinely interested in you and he has gotten to know you well he enough, he will deal with whatever you throw his way(as long as you dont have psycho or stalker tendencies) and if he runs off scared then you dont need him.


I think when dealing with a man its important to lay down the foundation as to what you expect from him and what you are willing to give to him. Yes you may not be "official" yet, but does that mean he can go about flirting with other women in your face just because you guys are not dating?

After reading Steve Harvey's " Act like a lady, Think like a man" I learnt that it okay to ask a man from the bat, what his intentions are with you, and to let him know how you should be treated. Its a lot difficult to allow a man to treat you in a particular way and then if and when he makes you his girl you suddenly switch up on him and expect him to treat you differently because now you are "wifey". Granted, some things cannot be asked from a man you are dating and yes he may not be obligated to you at that moment but it doesnt mean that you cannot expect him to treat you in the manner you want to be treated.

I know I am guilty for this, Anytime I am dealing with a guy I am interested in, I find I pretty much allow him to treat me in any manner whatsoever because I feel he is not obligated to me. I get upset when he upsets me but I never express myself because I dont want to scare him off and think I am over sensitive. There are soo many things I let them get away with but then deep inside I am crying. The sad part is, if a friend treated me in that same manner I would not let them hear the end of it. What makes him any different?

I am learning now it's important to lay down the foundation early as to how I want the relationship to go. If he is scared and runs off then so be it, but its important that I am treated with respect and kindness and if I am not being treated that way I think is time to move on. Of course you must treat him the way you wish to be treated but dont ever feel he is not "obligated" to you so some things are okay to let slide. I like to believe most men are clueless, so half the time they assume if you havent mentioned it, then its not a problem. It's important to speak up and let him know what can and cannot work for you. Eerything within reason obviously but dont be afraid to get the treatement you require. You deserve it!