Organizational Behaviour the study of different behaviours and personalities in the work place identifies external locus of control as someone who does not take responsbility for their actions and constantly blames external factors as the cause of their problems. Why am I bringing that up? What does this have to do with my blog? The reason is simple, I realised that all my life, I have been exercising external locus of control, Blaming others for my misfortunes, not taking responsiblities for the bad decisions I made regarding men, over reacting and being overly sensitive to situations that really were not that serious.
Dont get me wrong, I am not saying I am completely to blame for situations gone back, I do believe that it does take two but at the same time, looking back, I had very high expectations of the people I deal with, I expected that I treated someone a particular way, they had to treat me exactly the same. I expected that If I felt a certain way they had to feel exactly the same way and when they didnt, it would upset me, I would blame them for feeling the way they did and completely ignore the part I played in causing this situation.
It's hard when you feel a certain way and your feelings are not reciprocated, or you show love and you do not get love in return. Its hard and its painful but because you feel a certain way, doesnt mean that everyone around you must feel exactly the same way. It doesnt mean that they did you wrong and they are to blame for making you feel the way you do. It's important to acknowledge your role in the situation. Did you mis interpret his actions to mean what you wanted it to mean when it really didnt mean that way at all. Did you give, give, give and not even give him a chance to catch up and when you finally realised he was lacking behind you got upset because he wasnt on teh same page as you?
Sometimes its important we evaluate the situation and figure out where you might be going wrong. What are you doing as well to bring on this situation. Every woman is beautiful and deserves the best, but that doesnt mean that every man that comes your way must meet your expectation. If he doesnt accept that he lacks what you mean and dont blame him, accept him for who he is and understand that maybe he is not the one for you. Trying to blame someone for their flaws and not meeting up to your standards is not fair.
We can all learn from any situation once we take responsibility. Exercising our internal locus of control and leave your external locus out.
No comments:
Post a Comment