Fingerprint

If there is anything I know how to do well is be myself. I have several times tried to be someone I am not and honestly if I am to think I have failed at anything in my life time, is my inability to be anything but myself. Trust me this is a fight I must accept my defeat and keep moving on. No matter how hard I tried to be anything but myself I didnt succeed. Anyone who knows me knows that I have had my moments where I say, Okay I am going to try and be more like this or less like that and I may for awhile succeed but then just like that I revert to being myself and once again I lose.

Okay so really why have I tried soo many times to be something I am not? Simple, I thought being me wasnt good enough. Okay this is not a blog about bashing myself or feeling sorry for myself, but I am sure most people at some point felt that being something you were not would make the people around you care more, like you more, love you more. Maybe if you tried to be something you were not, people will hang around a little longer, or want to be with you. However what we fail to realise is those who are around us love us for who we are. They met us this way and if they really had a huge problem wth it they would have left a long time ago. Dont get me wrong there are some traits we all possess that we really should try to get rid of because its doing us more harm than good but thats the whole point. Its not doing anyone any harm but ourselves and thats why we need to change or at least try harder to let go of that trait. The minute being you becomes a problem for someone else you have to understand that its time to let that person go.

We are all very unique individuals. We are all cut from a different cloth and thats what makes us unique. I am a twin and although my sister and I share the same dna we are completely different and I believe thats what makes us very unique. Even the most similar of twins are unique in their own little ways. We are all like a finger print. We are all so very different. We can never be like another person but ourselves.

I remember back in school, there were a few people who idolized certain people in class, seemed like they wanted to be like them. Would do anything and everything to get the same recognition that person got. What they failed to realise that maybe if they tried harder at being themselves and showing people who they really were, People would love them more for being themselves than being someone they werent. This is not an unusual situation at all. you hear these stories all over the world. Especially now with gay teenagers being afraid to be themselves because people would not accept them for who they are. Its very sad that being yourself is no longer appreciated and awarded. Why should a gay teen have to be in fear of coming out and living their lives the way they want to because someone somewhere is not comfortable with their own selves so they expect everyone to conform to their ways.

This week, my friend and I were emailing back and forth and in one of the emails he sent to me, he said this " Don't ever change kak". That sentence had me looking at myself completely different. I finally realised that despite all my flaws and imperfections, in someones eyes I was exactly the way I needed to be. Mind you this is someone who has seen most of if not all of me so he knows my good sides and my bad yet despite it all he still wants me to be who i am. From that moment forward i decided to stop apologising for who I was. I decided I was going to embrace who I was. Good and bad.

So here you go this is me. I am fun, I am sweet, I am not affectionate but I am ridiculously loyal. I love hard but I also can walk away, I am very bossy, i am loud and i talk a lot but once you have me as your friend you can believe I will carry you and love you unconditionally just dont take advantage of me. This is who i am and i am not going to be anything else but that! I am just like a finger print. There is only one me!

Lets get married!

Earlier this evening, my cousin asked me a question and although I think I gave him the answer I believed made sense, I am beginning to wonder if I actually do believe what I told him and if I do believe why? So here is the question. "Why do women feel it is important to get married and is it my top 5 priority" Now my answer to him was its not my top 5 priority for sure and quite honestly it probably made my top 10 this year but i know that although its not important I do get married, I do know that being married for me is something I will like to embark on. Not for the purpose of going around flashing my ring to every tom dick harry and jane but its that life long companionship, being able to have someone to share with, laugh with, hang out with someone who loves you and wants you in some cases needs you. His response to that was well cant you get that from friends and family? I said you can but I sure dont want to have sex with any of my family members.Funny I know but truly this question has me wondering...why do we find it important to get married?

I believe this is a question when posed to 10 different people we will receive 10 different answers because everyone goes into marriage for different reasons. I do believe though that one common answer will run through all the answers and that I believe is companionship.

I have never been married so i cant speak intelligently on this subject but my observation of other peoples marriages and of course my own parents marriage. They've been married for 36 years and I do know that though they do have their ups and downs and my dad constantly being on the road traveling from here to there for work, the one thing they do enjoy about being together is having someone to come home to. Someone they know that in their old age, when we (their kids) move on with our lives is having each other to spend time with. Someone they wake up in the morning they can talk to, Even when sitting in silence they know they have someone there with them. In my opinion there are just some forms of companion ship you cannot get from friends or family only from a spouse or a partner. Okay so you dont have to get married for that. Oprah mentioned today that she chose never to be married even though she and Steadman continue to have a very successful relationship which is fine and fair but I also believe marriage as rare as it may seem these days gaurantees a life long partner. Its almost reassured that once you are married you are more likely to work at keeping it going than when you just choose to remain in a partnership without the marriage. I may be wrong but thats just how I feel.

I dont want to go on too much on this topic because like i said i have no experience when it comes to marriage but I do know that it is a journey I look forward to embarking on but its definitely not my top 5 list of priorities just as yet...maybe eventually it will make it on that list.

What I learnt from this year

This has been an interesting year to say the least and although its not technically over, I think this time will be a good as any to share with you what I have taken from this year and hopefully what I will take or not take with me into the the new year.

This year has been interesting on many accounts. I think the best part of this year was having my whole family with me over the summer for a couple of weeks. For many people having your parents and of course your twin sister live across the world and only being able to see them at the most once a year if you are lucky is quite difficult. Of course my brother and I chose to stay back in Canada but at the same token it might have been a lot easier if they lived a couple of miles away but when the miles are over a thousand it gets harder and harder to deal. Being able to share the same roof for a change and be a family was fun. Reminded me of how important it is to have family close by and even though we fight and we often get on each others nerves the joy you experience being around people you love is absolutely priceless..

I managed to finish another leg in my educational journey...although its was not my ideal situation and its definitely was not the final leg, being able to achieve anything is amazing but I believe when your achievement are educational based its even more empowering because it means that your curiousity to learn and to accept that you still need to better yourself through education is important.

I quit a job I hated without another job in place to replace it. Daring move especially in these economic times but it came to a point where the money was not enough to keep me going. It came to a point where I felt most of my unhappiness stemed from being unhappy in my job and although it was a pay check...a bad one but nonetheless a pay check I had to give it up. Unfortunately I havent been lucky enough to find a replacement but I have been happier and more positive about my situation but most importantly I have felt more blessed because I realise that through my trials and tribulations I still have more than most and I am still able to do things I was doing while employed. Its taught me patience and its given me a chance to really reflect on who I am and what I want out of life and although I am still on the path of self discovery I realise my path is becoming more and more defined as each day passes.


This has brought new and true friends into my life and I also started losing or lost some very important people in my life as well. Not to death but I guess to life. It made me re-evaluate my relationships with people and not necessarily let go of people I felt were not working to keep our relationship going but it made me realise that I can't force a relationship. Sometimes the best thing in life is to realise that some people are meant to stay and some are meant to go. It hurt, it sucks, you cry, you get upset, you even get angry but sometimes letting go means a new beginning for something else and thats exactly what happened. I had a new beginning with an old friend and right now I believe our friendship is stronger than ever. Of course I can only pray our friendship stands the test of times and it gets richer and stronger with time but I do know that if it doesnt make it that far, I can look back with no regrets but appreciate their time in my life and what they brought to it, just like I can look back at the relationship I shared with friends I have lost and realise that although we are no longer what we used to be, they came at time when they were supposed to be there and left when they were supposed to leave. I will always love them and my heart will always hold a place for them and I know whatever we shared good or bad changed my life and who I am today.

What did I learn this year? well pretty much here it goes

I learnt that being beautiful doesnt mean you can fit into a smaller dress size, or you have a particular physical look but really who you are inside and how you love yourself. Its hard to expect people to consider you beautiful if you dont feel beautiful. I also learnt that I might never be slim but I can work on being healthy and most importantly accepting who I am. Until I accept who I am it doesnt matter if I lose 50lbs or not I will never believe I am beautiful.

I took away from this year that good friends no matter how far away they are will always be in your lives. You dont have to know someone for years to consider them a good friend but its important to know that a good friend accepts you for who you are. They love you through the pay and they rejoice with you through the happiness. When you kneel down to pray at night, not only are you praying for them but they are kneeling down at night praying for you as well. They have their faults just like you do but at the end of the day you know and learn that they are real and thats all that matters.

I learnt to accept that not everything you want in life comes when you want it. I have been on a long journey and to say I am half way they were would be a lie but I also know that I can't give up because things are not going as planned. As the saying goes, "If you want to hear God laugh, tell him your plans." that being said, it doesnt mean because you have given it up to God you must stop fighting for him because although it takes God to get what you want, you can't get it if you dont work for it.

One of the most important lessons I learnt in life is patience. Just to add on to what I said above, being paitent takes a lot strength and self peace. Being someone who expected immediate results, going through this year made me realise that you can't rush life. If I had my eye opening moment about patience this year is probably when I heard the story of the 33 miners trapped underground. 33 miners trapped for 69 days and prior to their rescue they had no idea when their rescue day was. However, their strong faith in God and their patience aided in them surviving the full 69 days presumeably coming out healthy and in a sane state of mind that almost seems impossible to believe. Hearing their story just made me realise that with patience, God does answer prayers but at his own time.

I learnt that a man should not define me. A man should not be the reason I make decisions about how I look, what I do, where I work, who I am. It took me a long time and a lot of prayer and self reflection to realise how much I had let men define my life an it wasnt till I finally realised how much of an influence they had on my decisions in life was I able to finally let go and take charge. Hard to believe coming from someone who has pretty much been single for a very long time but I realised that depending on who I had feelings for at a particular time in my life, the decisions I made were decisions they subconsciously made for me. Decisions they probably were not aware they were making for me but looking back now they did. My sudden drive to lose weight, my desire to work or live in a particular place all came from their influence and though some of the decisions where probably good decisions for me, they were not my own decisions and breaking away from that has given me the power to finally be me.

I think the most important lesson I have learnt this year is staying true to myself. Going after i want, not being afraid to make decisions that can be life altering but they make me happy. I have had soo much influence in my life, decisions made I may not have been happy with but fear prevented me from voicing my concerns. Not allowing people to take advantage of me. Not being afraid to speak when things are wrong instead of keeping quiet and trying to take it all in. It may upset them that I said what was on my mind but keeping it all in and hurting is far more damaging than letting them know the truth.
*I learnt that family wants whats best for you but they may not really know what is best for you.
*Job hunting sucks but its very humbling.
*Education may be the key to success but it doesnt mean it is the key to success
*Love hurts and its okay to cry when your heart breaks but to give up on love is to give up on yourself.
*I really love watching tv and I am not afraid to say it.
*Working out is hard but the benefits are priceless
*Its okay to ask for help. You cant do it all and sometimes its okay to ask for help.
*Men might never put the seat down on the toilet
*Not everyone wants your happiness but it also doesnt mean you must hide your joy
*How you treat people may not necessarily mean they will treat you the same way
*Cant compare my situation to others. Just because they may have it going on doesnt mean your life is really that bad.
*Women are beautiful creatures and we come in all shapes and colours and sizes but being a black woman has been an amazing journey and i couldnt have asked to be anything else.
*It takes a lot of energy to stay depressed and most times when I give in to my depression everything goes wrong but the minute I decide to let it go and stay positive I realise how much easier it is to be happy than it is to be sad.
*That my problems are really not bad. It could be a lot worse but its not so I have to stay grateful
*Its okay to date yourself. Its okay to treat yourself out to a day on your own. Sitting in a movie theatre alone doesnt mean you are a loser but it means you are comfortable with yourself enough to know you can go out on your own and not have anyone with you but still enjoy yourself
*Last but definitely not least. When you have God in your life nothing is impossible. Never lose faith in God and all your prayers will be answered. Not when you call but he will be there when the time is right

So as I enter this new year I hope the lessons I learnt will help me be a better person in the new year and though it may be difficult at times I know nothing stays the same.

What Is Love? No seriously, what is it?

Hey guys, So I gave my cousin a task and that was to write a blog because I really think he has a talent with putting words together. Here is his post. Please share with him what you think of his entry.

Disclaimer 1: the Bible has a definition of love (love is kind, love is just, etc). I'm fully aware of it. What you should be fully aware of is in observing how most of us tend to forget this definition, or to be more exacting, try to get to this type of love by going around God, I have more or less tabled that definition.


Disclaimer 2: In having set up the first disclaimer, expect a lot of sarcasm and cynicism. And abstract thought. If it is abstract only to me, then take it as a grain of entertainment.


Disclaimer 3: I have not been in any serious relationship. You say my views are left-field. I say that I am less biased and more clear-headed.


I love you.


If you say it a number of times, you'll be disgusted. Or you'll be filled with bliss. Go on. Try it.


Why would you be filled with disgust? Many a reason. Most likely it probably stems from the lack of truth in it.


I was once told in a psychology class that you can't be sure about your significant other unless you've been in a relationship for two years. In that time, the passion aspect of the relationship dissipates, leaving you with the intimacy and companionship components. It's at this point that you can truly see yourself being with this person for the rest of your life. Or you see that the relationship is now boring and it's time for you to move on.


This makes sense. But to many a fool it won't because 'love is blind' and 'love knows no bounds' and other cookie-cutter fairy-tale-type nonsense that everyone fails to consider because they're looking for a rush. And if you're one of these fools...well, you're a fool. An idiot. Wake up and smell the damned fumes off the drying paint.


Because how many times have you observed a relationship in which the phone conversations ended in 'I love you' especially when they've been going out for 2 months? Not a big deal, you think? My, how you have set yourself up for the inevitable...


Because how many times has one of you asked the other, Why do you love me?, and you've gone to the part of your brain that deals in bullshit to churn out a poetic answer which really has no value other than to make the one feel good, and to grant the other peace? (And then when you throw the question back at the other, all you get is "I dunno, I just do.")


Because how many times has it felt forced coming out of your mouth to the other person, but when it comes to inanimate objects (your phone most likely), "I love you" flows like water over a babbling brook?


The meaning of love between a couple in this generation is lost. It's gone. And because it's gone we've failed to realize that the meaning of that love is what makes everything else strong. What makes everything else bearable.


Look at the concept of raising a family. It's supposed to be a loving couple (and since I'm Catholic and old-fashioned...), from which children of sound mind and being spring forth. A couple that even through adversity and despair their love continues to bind them tight. A family that from the first breathe of the first born to the day that the last born leaves the house to start a future, has been together supporting each other and loving each other, because that's what their parents have taught them to do. And it's with that knowledge that they'll pass on what they have learned to their significant others so that their families may be blessed with that gift.


But I bet you didn't know that? Because what you've seen becoming ever popular is the single mother and the baby daddy. A kid or a bunch of kids are raised under needlessly difficult circumstances. The father shows up once every week or every other week because he has his life to live and he wasn't ready to start this but because the woman had no choice (again, Catholic and old-fashioned...) she must bear all the weight. Her dreams and hopes put on hold, or reformatted because it's no longer about her but about her children. Where's her time? The story gets worse when the woman isn't committed to having kids so she's still going to live life like the young adult that she is and have no regard for her young ones.


But I digress.


Why would you be filled with bliss, though?

Swept under the rug

I know this topic will be far more controversial than what I have written about in the past months. Many of you may agree with me and some will disagree however I am in the state of mind where I believe we need to have more open dialogue on this topic so we can finally do something about it.

I am Canadian, most of you know that and you will know that Canada is probably one of the most diverse nations in the world. We welcome any and everyone and we allow you to be who you are regardless of your religion, ethnic backgroud, race, political views, sexuality, whatever. This concept is known as a mosiac. We are all one people but you can also be an individual if you need to me. A different ideaology to our neighbouring country the US where they believe in the melting pot. You come here you become one of us. Although you can be who you are, Ultimately at the end of the day you are American and thats that. Depending on how you look at it, both concepts are great and can and should work well but unfortunately it does not.

I have lived in the US so I can disagree or agree with their melting pot concept however I am not American so my knowledge will becoming from an outsider looking in and in my humble opinion although sometimes its good to look in its better to comment if you actually are in the box than outside the box so for the purposes of this blog, this will be my last reference to the American way of life.

Now lets talk about Canada. I live in Toronto and to my knowledge, Toronto is the most diverse city in the world period. I have seen more people of different races, ethnic groups and sexual orientations than any other city I have visited ever. Its actually a beautiful thing because its like being able to tour the whole world and interacting with so many different people without leaving your city. Not many people are fortunate enough to experience that and yet I am plus the 3million other torontians in this city.

However, this mosaic mentality we have in canada I believe has given more ammunition to fuel and acknowledge the differences between us. As much as you are allowed to be who you are, it also means you cant be the one thing that you are...Canadian. Often times racism is a topic that if you ask the average canadian if they feel still exist in canada their firm answer is no. I often laugh when I hear that. There have been several times, when I have had debates with teachers or colleagues about this topic and the quickly change the subject to avoid talking about it. They usually start off by saying" I dont think we have this problem in Canada" I tell them well thats because you have been fortunate enough not to experience it and then they usually shrug their shoulders give me that uncomfortable smile and change the topic to something else.

Of course, why wouldnt they think racism exist when each time the topic is brought up they immediately brush it under the rug. I am not in their minds but i like to believe that they think not discussing it means it doesnt exist and thus we do not have to deal with it. Yet so many minorities exist in this beautiful nation of our who are still struggling to be someone they want to be.

Now lets go into the work place...I have worked in a few places and although I will say I have seen quite a number of minorities in the work place I yet to see a minority in an executive leadership role. I once did a research paper on racism in the judicial system and I was surprised to find that not once in history has there ever been a minority Supreme Court Judge. No blacks, Asians or Aborignals...which unfortunately is tragic considering Aboriginals are the official Canadians. Every single one of us immigrated from somewhere else other than the Aboriginals yet the Aboriginals are the one group of people in Canada that still continue to struggle. They are shut away from the rest of Canada, stuck in the coldest part and are living the most poverty stricken life ever. Once again the Canadian mentality, if we dont deal with it, it does not exist.

Another issue that realy upsets me is the fact that based on the colour of my skin there is no way in hell I can be Canadian. I have often received the surprised look when people find out I was born in Canada. I find that the minute they see me, they have to ask me where I am from? When I respond I am canadian, they are often respond by saying well where are your parents from? They keep digging till you pretty much tell them that your ancestry is africa, caribbean or something of the sort. Well let me school you guys for a second. Many of you will be aware that Harriet Tubman the black slave that lead many of the slaves to freedom, lead them into eastern Canada, Nova Scotia and the likes, Many of them continue to live in Nova Scotia or have moved around to different parts of the Country. Just like African-Americans these African-Canadians(A term i am sure some of you have never heard) Do know their ancestry is from Africa but have no direct connection to the place since their ancestors were put on ships many years ago. That being said, They just like the rest of us are Canadians and therefore will only acknowledge themselves as Canadians and nothing else. So for you to continuely to ask someone like that where they are from is pretty much saying based on their skin they cannot be pure canada. Well unfortunately neither are you because as I stated other than the Aboroginals most people in this country immigrated into Canada many years ago. Of course I know sometimes you ask because to be honest most of us are recent immigrants into Canada but why cant you see us as Canadian unless we tell you otherwise?

I just think that its time we address the issue of racism in this country. It still very much exist no matter how much you want to believe that it doesnt. It exist in the work place when you see capable intelligent visible minorties are still at the bottom of the ladder yet their counter parts are quickly rising. It exist when professionals from different countries move into Canada with the hope of finding a better life hear but are given the run around that they are not good enough to be what they were prior to moving here so now they are stuck in minial jobs because they need to survive. What makes your qualifications better than theirs?.

People lets start dealing with the issue of Race. Until we actualy deal with it face on its going to continue to be swept under the rug and eventually when we finally realise it, it will be too late.

Of course this is my opinion based on my experiences and observations.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cvBI3FtuaPA&feature=related

The Power you hold

To my ladies,

What I am about to share with you is nothing you don't already know. Its been written about, your male friends have told you over and over again and your girlfriends have sat down with you and had this discussion. Its been preached at church, your parents have discussed this with you and in my humble opinion this topic is redundant but I feel that every once in awhile we have to be reminded because although we like to believe we get it, we really dont!

Women, we must understand how powerful we are! Amazingly men know how powerful we are. They know that even the the lowest of women has power that can bring the strongest man to his knees yet, we allow ourselves to lose our power because we think it doesnt make us attractive, or it doesnt make us vunerable or desireable by the male species when in all truths our power is what draws them in. Yet we dont know this power we hold so often times we allow others to take it away from us.

Now the topic I really want to discuss is the power of our punani. Yes lets be real. A lot of us dont understand the power it holds thats why some are soo quick to throw it out there thinking that it can draw the man in and yes it will draw him in but will it keep him? I know Steve Harvey wrote it that try to keep a man waiting before you give it up to him. However I know some people who honestly believe the oppposite. They think by giving it up as soon as he comes your way will keep him. Okay so yeah it might keep him around but dont expect him to take you over to his momma's house or ask your girlfriend what ring you will like. Now dont get me wrong, there are some people who were able to meet guys have sex with them pretty much second after meeting them and they are happily married. Good for them but they are the exception to the rule. If any of you watched the movie " He is not that into you' Justin Long's character eloquently put it " Most women are not the exeception to the rule, you are the rule" Yeah so Jane's girlfriend Molly is married to the man of her dreams after sleeping with him the same night she met him in the club, but really do you think thats going to happen for you? Probably not...nahh in fact it wont!

Now I am no prude and I am not here to judge. If you are "liberated" and you dont believe there is any timeline after meeting a guy to give him the goods then hey good for you. However you can't be upset if he suddenly starts checking girl next door who probably is not giving him the time of day yet he keeps going down her way because he realises that this is someone he can see himself married to. I dont care what you think, the double standard does exist. Men can do whatever they want yet we cant do the same. To be honest though, would you really want to do everything guys are able to do? I dont know about you but I dont want to. I know there are great things about being a woman and that is knowing that I have the power to bring a man to his knees and i wouldnt give it up just to be "liberated"

Ladies, another thing that really bothers me these days is thinking getting pregnant will reassure you committement. Maybe back in the day when our parents were younger that mess flew but these days men know they can be a father to their kid without being a husband to you. I have heard some craziness about how women are "getting pregnant" with the hope that the guy will stick around. if he does stick around then again you are the exception but if you really have to trap a man by getting pregnant by him then please answer me this. Why do you want a man you had to trap? Wouldnt you want a man who wants to stay because he chose to? Think about it!

I guess to conclude, ladies, understand your worth, Understand the power you hold, giving up sex to a guy you barely know will not guarantee you wifey status. Its not even going to gaurantee you girlfriend status. As much as we like to think otherwise we are emotional creatures, we may go in thinking its all fun and games but most times we are the firs to get caught up. I seriously believe when a guy cheats on his girl and says "she didnt mean anything to me it was just sex" he really means it. Men can dettach the emotional from the physical where as most of us cant. Think about it, most girls who end up sleeping around usually have a few men they are messing with at the same time to remove the emotional attachement where as a man can sleep with you for years and not fall in love with you.

If you are trying to be in a committed relationship with anyone go slow, dont give it up so quick get to know him, allow him to get to know you and trust me if he sticks around I am pretty sure he will stay after he gets it but if he says he cant wait then let him go, he wasnt yours to have. You might think otherwise but you cannot get a man by throwing it out to him that quick. My brother and I had an interesting discussion earlier on today. He said to me, " If you could get internet for free, would you really pay for it?" Of course i answered no. He said exactly. He is like let me tell you this, if you give it up to any man that easily I can gaurantee you he is not going to keep you around for ever. He might keep you till something better comes his way but he is not going to wife you.

Now Fellas I am curious to hear what you think. Your thoughts

Bring back the 90s

My title I know probably suggest a few things....One I may be reminscing about the 90s and realised how much fun I had or 2, I am in my 90's rnb mode and realised how great music was back then. If you are thinking 1 or 2 you are on the right track but not necessarily right on point.

Okay so for the past couple of days I have been listening to 90's rnb and maybe a few early 2000's and comparing it to music today, they definitely had it right back then. Music today in my humble opinion has lost its way. We focus too much on the beat than on the lyrics and when we do actually listen to the lyrics its talking about how to mistreat each other, how we have very little respect for ourselves and quite frankly our over hyped sexuality. It seems like in this day and age sex is ruling the world! If you are not having any you suck and if you are having some, its about how many people can you get! Our music has lost respect for the craft and for the people who listen to it.

Listening to 90s music, I do realise there was a lot of talk about sexuality but I noticed that it was more about making love than it was about having sex or to be extremely blunt and crass...fucked! There is no such thing as trying to make you my wife, now its about how many baby mammas do I have or how can I make you eat me out the right way...its sad but our music in my personal opinion has gone down the drain.

Well now lets talk about how the music is influencing our lives. So I am an 80s baby and in the 90s I was heading into my teens, My experience with men in my teens were very rare...if he wasnt a friend I played ball with I had no business with him so maybe I may not know what I am talking about here but bare with me. In my very humble opinion I like to think that men back in the 90's had more respect for women, they treated them better, they spoke to them better and quite frankly the men were better. Fast forward to 2010, It seems like men dont have any respect for us. The little things that were not tolerated back in the day seems to be the norm these days. With the advancement of technology it seems like men for some reason have just lost it! They dont care about how they make women feel, how they treat them or if they even matter.

Now I am not saying all the men in this decade are like that. I know quite a number of decent men and I know quite a number of trifling women. Yes some of us are to blame for the way the men treat us. Its not soley their faults but it just seems like a lot is going now in relationships that just makes no sense and I am trying to make sense of it all! Men now just seem more rude, more crass and just less respectful. They really dont care whose feelings they hurt or who they have to step on. I like to consider myself quite respectful and I like to treat other people with respect but it just seems like the more respect I show others the more disrespect I get. Are my expectations too high? Do I honestly believe I am all that and maybe I am not and thats why i am disrespected? Of course no one has done anything crazy like treat me like the Situation did to that silly girl on the last episode of Jersey shore for those of you who watched but it just seems like common curteousy and respect is out the window.... I dont know.. In my opinion they just dont make them like they used to!

Can someone please bring back the 90s????

your thoughts?