Fingerprint

If there is anything I know how to do well is be myself. I have several times tried to be someone I am not and honestly if I am to think I have failed at anything in my life time, is my inability to be anything but myself. Trust me this is a fight I must accept my defeat and keep moving on. No matter how hard I tried to be anything but myself I didnt succeed. Anyone who knows me knows that I have had my moments where I say, Okay I am going to try and be more like this or less like that and I may for awhile succeed but then just like that I revert to being myself and once again I lose.

Okay so really why have I tried soo many times to be something I am not? Simple, I thought being me wasnt good enough. Okay this is not a blog about bashing myself or feeling sorry for myself, but I am sure most people at some point felt that being something you were not would make the people around you care more, like you more, love you more. Maybe if you tried to be something you were not, people will hang around a little longer, or want to be with you. However what we fail to realise is those who are around us love us for who we are. They met us this way and if they really had a huge problem wth it they would have left a long time ago. Dont get me wrong there are some traits we all possess that we really should try to get rid of because its doing us more harm than good but thats the whole point. Its not doing anyone any harm but ourselves and thats why we need to change or at least try harder to let go of that trait. The minute being you becomes a problem for someone else you have to understand that its time to let that person go.

We are all very unique individuals. We are all cut from a different cloth and thats what makes us unique. I am a twin and although my sister and I share the same dna we are completely different and I believe thats what makes us very unique. Even the most similar of twins are unique in their own little ways. We are all like a finger print. We are all so very different. We can never be like another person but ourselves.

I remember back in school, there were a few people who idolized certain people in class, seemed like they wanted to be like them. Would do anything and everything to get the same recognition that person got. What they failed to realise that maybe if they tried harder at being themselves and showing people who they really were, People would love them more for being themselves than being someone they werent. This is not an unusual situation at all. you hear these stories all over the world. Especially now with gay teenagers being afraid to be themselves because people would not accept them for who they are. Its very sad that being yourself is no longer appreciated and awarded. Why should a gay teen have to be in fear of coming out and living their lives the way they want to because someone somewhere is not comfortable with their own selves so they expect everyone to conform to their ways.

This week, my friend and I were emailing back and forth and in one of the emails he sent to me, he said this " Don't ever change kak". That sentence had me looking at myself completely different. I finally realised that despite all my flaws and imperfections, in someones eyes I was exactly the way I needed to be. Mind you this is someone who has seen most of if not all of me so he knows my good sides and my bad yet despite it all he still wants me to be who i am. From that moment forward i decided to stop apologising for who I was. I decided I was going to embrace who I was. Good and bad.

So here you go this is me. I am fun, I am sweet, I am not affectionate but I am ridiculously loyal. I love hard but I also can walk away, I am very bossy, i am loud and i talk a lot but once you have me as your friend you can believe I will carry you and love you unconditionally just dont take advantage of me. This is who i am and i am not going to be anything else but that! I am just like a finger print. There is only one me!