Age aint nothing but a number

I really wanted to think of a title that wouldnt give away my topic so easily but its pretty early and I've been up since 6am so I got nothing. This topic was suggested to me by a friend and a few years ago if I had been asked to write on this topic, I probably would have approached this topic differently and more negatively but age and experience has definitely taught me differently.

For most men dating a younger woman almost seems natural. In most cases you find that the man is older than his female partner. Whether its a couple of months to a couple of years to as much as 20 years and although a few people may have a few negative things to say about a man who dates a woman who is significantly younger than him its more acceptable. However a new phenomenon seems to be arising in our society...maybe not a new phenomenon but more socially accepting than it was a few years ago. A woman dating a younger man. I dont know why there was much resistance about it. I dont know if it has to deal with the fact that a woman births a child so to date someone who could pratically be your child would play into the whole oedipus complex or could it be the fact that a man is the head of the house hold so to have a man who pretty much should be taking orders from a woman who is older than him is just too weird... I dont know. It would be ignorant or naive of me to say Demi and Ashton were the reasons why it has become more socially acceptable to date younger men but i will say this much that since Demi and Ashton got married we are hearing a lot more "couger" relationships.

So why am I writing on this topic? Simple, why should we really use age as a factor to date someone. I mean really as long as both parties are legal and they are happy then who cares that one person is older than the other? I mean I know some men who are significantly younger than me and though I wouldnt date them, they have their shit together than men who are older and supposedly more mature than me. Which leads me to my next point. Maturity.

Personally I dont think maturity has anything to do with your chronological age. There maybe people who are 50 years old but their maturity level is that of a 25 year old and there are others who might be 25 but have the maturity level of a 50 year old. So really as a woman, if you are 10 years older than the guy and he is on the same maturity level as you then really why should it matter that he is younger than you. I mean yes sometimes there are some factors that you need to consider which is if you could still have kids with him, are at a place where marriage is no longer an option for you yet he is ready to play house? I mean those count but really should the age be a reason why you should or shouldnt pursue him.

I have a friend and she is currently dating someone younger than her. Not significantly younger, just a couple of years and initially she had a problem with the age but as she got to know him she realised that this guy was a great guy... he had a good job, he was a good man all around, attentive, sensitive, caring, very loving and pretty much everything she could hope for in a man. So in a situation like this does age really matter or is the connection that really matters.

I read a really interesting quote the other day and it says "you cant stop love because it doesnt come wrapped in the package you are most accostumed to" So instead of us focusing too much on the age, its probably best we focus on really what makes this guy so amazing.

As a friend shared with me the other day " focus on the one reason why it will work and not the many reasons why it wont" because if there is one reason why it will work then who cares about the other reasons because as long as there is one reason to make it work then you will be more inclined to find more reasons to make it work.

I am no way shape or form promoting younger men but I am just saying instead of focusing on his age focus on why you would want to be with him and make it happen.

To my Ladies: He is just not that into you

Although this post is addressed to my ladies I really will appreciate feedback from my male readers because I believe you can correct me where I am wrong but I felt this is something I needed to get off my chest.

In this day and age with books, movies, tv shows what say you on this subject you will really think that the message would have been loud and clear and women will know better but I find that the more this topic is touched on the more clueless some of our ladies can get. Of course sometimes when you are in that situation its a lot harder to see clearly but I like to believe that unless you completely lose your mind when you are in love...or really in this case in like, you should still know better.

Let me set up the scenario. Girl meets guy, they seem to click, they get along well chemistry is great. They decide to meet up for drinks. While out they seem to be getting along just fine things are great. Guy takes girl home, they have a wild night of passion everything is great. Next day girl doesnt hear from the guy she sends him a text, calls him whatever no response. three days later guy finally returns her call apologizes for the late response and then ask her if she wants to hang out. He decides to come over her place, they share a few laughs talk next thing you know they are back in bed. Guy is in touch for a couple of days just when girl is getting into the groove of things thinking he is here to stay he vanishes again. So pretty much the cycle has been set. Guy comes and goes as he pleases while girl sits at home with her girlfriends crying her eyes out because the guy only bothers with her when he wants something from her. As girlfriends they all advice her to move on and forget him and she does for a couple of weeks and then he calls her back and its right back to square one. The girl already has the names of the kids they are going to have planned out and the wedding dress she plans to wear on her wedding day to him while the guy is only thinking about her when his small brain does the thinking.

It might be safe to assume in this situation the guy is an ass and for the purposes of this blog please understand i am not talking to women who just happen to fall into the situation above because i am talking to women who have been in any situation where it just seems they are not getting the love they deserve. So back to what I was saying. Yes it is safe to assume that the guy is an ass and I am pretty sure my male readers will agree to some extent that the guy in this scenario is an ass but before we start planning the guys death how about we take a second and really think things through here.

So yes the guy is an ass but lets think about it for a second. Dont you for a second think that the girl is to blame in this situation? Yes the guy has no right to disrespect the girl the way he is but really who is the one in control here? Cus if you ask me the girl is the on in control. Yes the guy comes and goes as he pleases but who has the power to stop him from coming back? Or who has the power to tell him its either you stay or you leave and dont come back? If you ask me, its the girl. She is the one who should be able to man up put her feelings aside and tell the guy to walk away and never look back.

This morning I was listening to the Steve Harvey show and he said something that most of us may have not taken the time to really think about it. He said that we should all understand that there is a huge difference between a guy saying "I got love for you" compared to "I love you" A guy telling you I got love for you means he cares about you and likes you but it by no means he is in love with you and wants to be with you.

A friend of mine told me once and I am sure he doesnt remember saying this to me but this stuck with me and every once in awhile I have to remind myself of thing. He said to me, "If a guy is not spending time with you, its is because he is spending time with someone else" and I really think that is true. Think about it and I am sure my ladies who are in relationships can attest to this and my male readers can confirm this as well. When a guy likes you and whats to be with you, there is nothing and nobody that can keep him away. In this day of technological advancement its almost impossible not to keep in touch if you really want to. With facebook, twitter, linkedin email, cellphones, computers, whatsay you its almost impossible to get rid of people you really dont even want in your life. I said to myself the other day that its funny how even now when you want to get rid of someone, you really cant because technology still ties you to them. So really when the guy is not responding to your text messages, or emails or blackberry messages when it clearly says he has read it, its time to really advice yourself if this is really the guy for you.

Ladies i know its hard when you get caught up with someone and you really like them but any relationship is a two way street. Just because by nature you are a giver doesnt mean you should only give and not receive. Its hard to like someone and know they dont feel the same especially when they keep coming back every once in awhile and make you feel like they want you. Sometimes walking away and letting them know that you wont let them come and go out of your life is what they need to really to make them stay. I always say its a good way to screen out the good and the bad. If you walk away and let him know you wont stand for this maybe he will realise that this is who he really wants and will stay however if he walks away as well then you know he is not the one for you

What I learnt from this year

This has been an interesting year to say the least and although its not technically over, I think this time will be a good as any to share with you what I have taken from this year and hopefully what I will take or not take with me into the the new year.

This year has been interesting on many accounts. I think the best part of this year was having my whole family with me over the summer for a couple of weeks. For many people having your parents and of course your twin sister live across the world and only being able to see them at the most once a year if you are lucky is quite difficult. Of course my brother and I chose to stay back in Canada but at the same token it might have been a lot easier if they lived a couple of miles away but when the miles are over a thousand it gets harder and harder to deal. Being able to share the same roof for a change and be a family was fun. Reminded me of how important it is to have family close by and even though we fight and we often get on each others nerves the joy you experience being around people you love is absolutely priceless..

I managed to finish another leg in my educational journey...although its was not my ideal situation and its definitely was not the final leg, being able to achieve anything is amazing but I believe when your achievement are educational based its even more empowering because it means that your curiousity to learn and to accept that you still need to better yourself through education is important.

I quit a job I hated without another job in place to replace it. Daring move especially in these economic times but it came to a point where the money was not enough to keep me going. It came to a point where I felt most of my unhappiness stemed from being unhappy in my job and although it was a pay check...a bad one but nonetheless a pay check I had to give it up. Unfortunately I havent been lucky enough to find a replacement but I have been happier and more positive about my situation but most importantly I have felt more blessed because I realise that through my trials and tribulations I still have more than most and I am still able to do things I was doing while employed. Its taught me patience and its given me a chance to really reflect on who I am and what I want out of life and although I am still on the path of self discovery I realise my path is becoming more and more defined as each day passes.


This has brought new and true friends into my life and I also started losing or lost some very important people in my life as well. Not to death but I guess to life. It made me re-evaluate my relationships with people and not necessarily let go of people I felt were not working to keep our relationship going but it made me realise that I can't force a relationship. Sometimes the best thing in life is to realise that some people are meant to stay and some are meant to go. It hurt, it sucks, you cry, you get upset, you even get angry but sometimes letting go means a new beginning for something else and thats exactly what happened. I had a new beginning with an old friend and right now I believe our friendship is stronger than ever. Of course I can only pray our friendship stands the test of times and it gets richer and stronger with time but I do know that if it doesnt make it that far, I can look back with no regrets but appreciate their time in my life and what they brought to it, just like I can look back at the relationship I shared with friends I have lost and realise that although we are no longer what we used to be, they came at time when they were supposed to be there and left when they were supposed to leave. I will always love them and my heart will always hold a place for them and I know whatever we shared good or bad changed my life and who I am today.

What did I learn this year? well pretty much here it goes

I learnt that being beautiful doesnt mean you can fit into a smaller dress size, or you have a particular physical look but really who you are inside and how you love yourself. Its hard to expect people to consider you beautiful if you dont feel beautiful. I also learnt that I might never be slim but I can work on being healthy and most importantly accepting who I am. Until I accept who I am it doesnt matter if I lose 50lbs or not I will never believe I am beautiful.

I took away from this year that good friends no matter how far away they are will always be in your lives. You dont have to know someone for years to consider them a good friend but its important to know that a good friend accepts you for who you are. They love you through the pay and they rejoice with you through the happiness. When you kneel down to pray at night, not only are you praying for them but they are kneeling down at night praying for you as well. They have their faults just like you do but at the end of the day you know and learn that they are real and thats all that matters.

I learnt to accept that not everything you want in life comes when you want it. I have been on a long journey and to say I am half way they were would be a lie but I also know that I can't give up because things are not going as planned. As the saying goes, "If you want to hear God laugh, tell him your plans." that being said, it doesnt mean because you have given it up to God you must stop fighting for him because although it takes God to get what you want, you can't get it if you dont work for it.

One of the most important lessons I learnt in life is patience. Just to add on to what I said above, being paitent takes a lot strength and self peace. Being someone who expected immediate results, going through this year made me realise that you can't rush life. If I had my eye opening moment about patience this year is probably when I heard the story of the 33 miners trapped underground. 33 miners trapped for 69 days and prior to their rescue they had no idea when their rescue day was. However, their strong faith in God and their patience aided in them surviving the full 69 days presumeably coming out healthy and in a sane state of mind that almost seems impossible to believe. Hearing their story just made me realise that with patience, God does answer prayers but at his own time.

I learnt that a man should not define me. A man should not be the reason I make decisions about how I look, what I do, where I work, who I am. It took me a long time and a lot of prayer and self reflection to realise how much I had let men define my life an it wasnt till I finally realised how much of an influence they had on my decisions in life was I able to finally let go and take charge. Hard to believe coming from someone who has pretty much been single for a very long time but I realised that depending on who I had feelings for at a particular time in my life, the decisions I made were decisions they subconsciously made for me. Decisions they probably were not aware they were making for me but looking back now they did. My sudden drive to lose weight, my desire to work or live in a particular place all came from their influence and though some of the decisions where probably good decisions for me, they were not my own decisions and breaking away from that has given me the power to finally be me.

I think the most important lesson I have learnt this year is staying true to myself. Going after i want, not being afraid to make decisions that can be life altering but they make me happy. I have had soo much influence in my life, decisions made I may not have been happy with but fear prevented me from voicing my concerns. Not allowing people to take advantage of me. Not being afraid to speak when things are wrong instead of keeping quiet and trying to take it all in. It may upset them that I said what was on my mind but keeping it all in and hurting is far more damaging than letting them know the truth.
*I learnt that family wants whats best for you but they may not really know what is best for you.
*Job hunting sucks but its very humbling.
*Education may be the key to success but it doesnt mean it is the key to success
*Love hurts and its okay to cry when your heart breaks but to give up on love is to give up on yourself.
*I really love watching tv and I am not afraid to say it.
*Working out is hard but the benefits are priceless
*Its okay to ask for help. You cant do it all and sometimes its okay to ask for help.
*Men might never put the seat down on the toilet
*Not everyone wants your happiness but it also doesnt mean you must hide your joy
*How you treat people may not necessarily mean they will treat you the same way
*Cant compare my situation to others. Just because they may have it going on doesnt mean your life is really that bad.
*Women are beautiful creatures and we come in all shapes and colours and sizes but being a black woman has been an amazing journey and i couldnt have asked to be anything else.
*It takes a lot of energy to stay depressed and most times when I give in to my depression everything goes wrong but the minute I decide to let it go and stay positive I realise how much easier it is to be happy than it is to be sad.
*That my problems are really not bad. It could be a lot worse but its not so I have to stay grateful
*Its okay to date yourself. Its okay to treat yourself out to a day on your own. Sitting in a movie theatre alone doesnt mean you are a loser but it means you are comfortable with yourself enough to know you can go out on your own and not have anyone with you but still enjoy yourself
*Last but definitely not least. When you have God in your life nothing is impossible. Never lose faith in God and all your prayers will be answered. Not when you call but he will be there when the time is right

So as I enter this new year I hope the lessons I learnt will help me be a better person in the new year and though it may be difficult at times I know nothing stays the same.

The Power you hold

To my ladies,

What I am about to share with you is nothing you don't already know. Its been written about, your male friends have told you over and over again and your girlfriends have sat down with you and had this discussion. Its been preached at church, your parents have discussed this with you and in my humble opinion this topic is redundant but I feel that every once in awhile we have to be reminded because although we like to believe we get it, we really dont!

Women, we must understand how powerful we are! Amazingly men know how powerful we are. They know that even the the lowest of women has power that can bring the strongest man to his knees yet, we allow ourselves to lose our power because we think it doesnt make us attractive, or it doesnt make us vunerable or desireable by the male species when in all truths our power is what draws them in. Yet we dont know this power we hold so often times we allow others to take it away from us.

Now the topic I really want to discuss is the power of our punani. Yes lets be real. A lot of us dont understand the power it holds thats why some are soo quick to throw it out there thinking that it can draw the man in and yes it will draw him in but will it keep him? I know Steve Harvey wrote it that try to keep a man waiting before you give it up to him. However I know some people who honestly believe the oppposite. They think by giving it up as soon as he comes your way will keep him. Okay so yeah it might keep him around but dont expect him to take you over to his momma's house or ask your girlfriend what ring you will like. Now dont get me wrong, there are some people who were able to meet guys have sex with them pretty much second after meeting them and they are happily married. Good for them but they are the exception to the rule. If any of you watched the movie " He is not that into you' Justin Long's character eloquently put it " Most women are not the exeception to the rule, you are the rule" Yeah so Jane's girlfriend Molly is married to the man of her dreams after sleeping with him the same night she met him in the club, but really do you think thats going to happen for you? Probably not...nahh in fact it wont!

Now I am no prude and I am not here to judge. If you are "liberated" and you dont believe there is any timeline after meeting a guy to give him the goods then hey good for you. However you can't be upset if he suddenly starts checking girl next door who probably is not giving him the time of day yet he keeps going down her way because he realises that this is someone he can see himself married to. I dont care what you think, the double standard does exist. Men can do whatever they want yet we cant do the same. To be honest though, would you really want to do everything guys are able to do? I dont know about you but I dont want to. I know there are great things about being a woman and that is knowing that I have the power to bring a man to his knees and i wouldnt give it up just to be "liberated"

Ladies, another thing that really bothers me these days is thinking getting pregnant will reassure you committement. Maybe back in the day when our parents were younger that mess flew but these days men know they can be a father to their kid without being a husband to you. I have heard some craziness about how women are "getting pregnant" with the hope that the guy will stick around. if he does stick around then again you are the exception but if you really have to trap a man by getting pregnant by him then please answer me this. Why do you want a man you had to trap? Wouldnt you want a man who wants to stay because he chose to? Think about it!

I guess to conclude, ladies, understand your worth, Understand the power you hold, giving up sex to a guy you barely know will not guarantee you wifey status. Its not even going to gaurantee you girlfriend status. As much as we like to think otherwise we are emotional creatures, we may go in thinking its all fun and games but most times we are the firs to get caught up. I seriously believe when a guy cheats on his girl and says "she didnt mean anything to me it was just sex" he really means it. Men can dettach the emotional from the physical where as most of us cant. Think about it, most girls who end up sleeping around usually have a few men they are messing with at the same time to remove the emotional attachement where as a man can sleep with you for years and not fall in love with you.

If you are trying to be in a committed relationship with anyone go slow, dont give it up so quick get to know him, allow him to get to know you and trust me if he sticks around I am pretty sure he will stay after he gets it but if he says he cant wait then let him go, he wasnt yours to have. You might think otherwise but you cannot get a man by throwing it out to him that quick. My brother and I had an interesting discussion earlier on today. He said to me, " If you could get internet for free, would you really pay for it?" Of course i answered no. He said exactly. He is like let me tell you this, if you give it up to any man that easily I can gaurantee you he is not going to keep you around for ever. He might keep you till something better comes his way but he is not going to wife you.

Now Fellas I am curious to hear what you think. Your thoughts

Bring back the 90s

My title I know probably suggest a few things....One I may be reminscing about the 90s and realised how much fun I had or 2, I am in my 90's rnb mode and realised how great music was back then. If you are thinking 1 or 2 you are on the right track but not necessarily right on point.

Okay so for the past couple of days I have been listening to 90's rnb and maybe a few early 2000's and comparing it to music today, they definitely had it right back then. Music today in my humble opinion has lost its way. We focus too much on the beat than on the lyrics and when we do actually listen to the lyrics its talking about how to mistreat each other, how we have very little respect for ourselves and quite frankly our over hyped sexuality. It seems like in this day and age sex is ruling the world! If you are not having any you suck and if you are having some, its about how many people can you get! Our music has lost respect for the craft and for the people who listen to it.

Listening to 90s music, I do realise there was a lot of talk about sexuality but I noticed that it was more about making love than it was about having sex or to be extremely blunt and crass...fucked! There is no such thing as trying to make you my wife, now its about how many baby mammas do I have or how can I make you eat me out the right way...its sad but our music in my personal opinion has gone down the drain.

Well now lets talk about how the music is influencing our lives. So I am an 80s baby and in the 90s I was heading into my teens, My experience with men in my teens were very rare...if he wasnt a friend I played ball with I had no business with him so maybe I may not know what I am talking about here but bare with me. In my very humble opinion I like to think that men back in the 90's had more respect for women, they treated them better, they spoke to them better and quite frankly the men were better. Fast forward to 2010, It seems like men dont have any respect for us. The little things that were not tolerated back in the day seems to be the norm these days. With the advancement of technology it seems like men for some reason have just lost it! They dont care about how they make women feel, how they treat them or if they even matter.

Now I am not saying all the men in this decade are like that. I know quite a number of decent men and I know quite a number of trifling women. Yes some of us are to blame for the way the men treat us. Its not soley their faults but it just seems like a lot is going now in relationships that just makes no sense and I am trying to make sense of it all! Men now just seem more rude, more crass and just less respectful. They really dont care whose feelings they hurt or who they have to step on. I like to consider myself quite respectful and I like to treat other people with respect but it just seems like the more respect I show others the more disrespect I get. Are my expectations too high? Do I honestly believe I am all that and maybe I am not and thats why i am disrespected? Of course no one has done anything crazy like treat me like the Situation did to that silly girl on the last episode of Jersey shore for those of you who watched but it just seems like common curteousy and respect is out the window.... I dont know.. In my opinion they just dont make them like they used to!

Can someone please bring back the 90s????

your thoughts?

What he wants! Part 1

This blog has been weeks in the making, I am not really sure how its going to turn out, but I am hoping its beneficial to everyone reading this blog.

Okay so I am sure most women will admit, there has been a time or two where a man has left them wondering what they really mean. In the age of books that pretty much explain to us what men are thinking, its still hard to believe that all those books apply to all men. Personally, I read those books, I absorb what is written and a few days later i am back to thinking the way I was thinking before I even read the book. Sometimes its really hard, We are convinced that the guy we are absolutely in love with is giving off all the right signals to make us believe he is really into us, yet he is doing everything wrong or his actions dont match his words.

After going through the emotions myself and over analysing every single thing any guy i was interested was doing, I felt it was time I actually asked men what they really are thinking when they behave a certain way. Funny enough, even though there were similarities in some of the responses I got, it was quite interesting to realise there were a lot of differences in the answers. One guy even said, its subjective. Each guy thinks differently in different situations.

I have a friend, a male friend, who expressed how he finds it sexy when a woman can go from pretty much dressing down to dressing up when the need arises. As he phrased it, he wants a woman who can go from wearing sneakers to wearing stilleto heels with no problem. The logic behind that is simple, a woman should be able to go from rolling around in the mud to dressing up to the nines. According to him, its nice to have a woman who can dress down, in sweats lounge around the house with no make up on but when it comes to going out she can dress to fit the occasion. Many a times some of us feel we need to be dressed up 24/7 to get attention or we just dont care about our appearance which is fine. However it is important that as a woman you are comfortable with who you and the image you want to potray. I dont believe in dressing up for a man but you also dont want to come across as too high maintanence or too low maintanence because either way, you send off the wrong signal.

One question I asked the guys were what do you consider sexy. I was expecting most of them to say a woman who shows off skin and has typical features they consider sexy as big breast and a big ass but surprisingly although a few mentioned those as some of the features of sexy they also said they believed a woman who was smart, great body, dresses well enough by showing enough but not too much that its border line skank. I found that funny because I always thought a man liked to see a woman showing everything but it was refreshing to see that some of them actually feel the opposite about that. They did say one thing that really stood out to me. They defined sexy as confidence. If you know me, you know I have self esteem issues, I always thought I had to be a certain size, or look a certain way to be considered sexy but after speaking to them, I realise now that how you carry yourself is what can be seen as sexy.

One last thing, This blog might have to be in two parts but to conclude this first half I felt it was important to ask them what they consider wifey. Some of us, especially those from Ghana haev always considered the definition of wifey as someone who could cook and clean and cater to her man but the responses I got surprised me. The one definition of wifey that really stood out to me went something like this. "Makes you think with the head on your neck, b4 the one in your pants. She makes you see possibilities and a future. She makes you want to love and protect her. She challenges your senses and makes you want to be a better man. She makes you want to make love to her. She makes you imagine what your children will look like. You actually feel incomplete when she's not around. She makes anything impossible possible, because in her you can always find hope."

After reading that, I couldnt help but realise I had defined wifey completely differently all along. It also made me realise I had completely misinterpreted how men think and that I can't always read into a mans actions and think it means a certain way unless he actually tells me what it is. One thing I am also beginning to learn is men can be simple. No point thinking too deeply into what they are doing or saying because sometimes its as simple as that!

He is no better

I just started reading a new book. Total Eclipse of the Heart by Zane, I am only a few pages in so I can't really tell you much about the book. Also, I dont want to give too much away incase some of you are interested in reading it. Anyway, the little I have read and again, I dont know how the story is going to go but there is one character in the book who is currently dating a very prominent lawyer. Comes from a very well to do background and is considered one of the most elligible bachelors in the DC area(the story is based in the DMV...go figure!) Anyway, this woman dating this lawyer is a waitress, in a dingy diner, She is not doing much with herself yet here she is with this very prominent lawyer. Dream come true right? I am sure there are women out there who will not be able to believe their stars that they got lucky enough to get with such a well to do guy. Prayers answered I am sure. A wealthy guy doing well for himself. I mean to be quite honest, if I was in this girls shoes I might pretty much start counting my blessings because I got so lucky.

Not so quick now, This prominent lawyer from the well to do backgroud, most eligible bachelor in the DC area is abusive. No he hasn't laid his hands on this woman, yet he is able to call her every bad name that was ever written. He has managed to bring this womans self esteem so low she doesnt even think she is worthy of anything. She takes his mother insulting and belittling her infront of her rich friends and he doesnt come to her defence one time. He obviously knows that she is leaning on him for support and that he is better than her so she should be lucky to be with him....

Now lets get back to reality here. Why am I spending my time talking about a fictional character? Well one reason, I have been that woman before. No, No man has ever laid his hands or me or spoken to me in such a disrespectful manner, I mean I feel sorry for the poor schmuck who would even attempt to treat me like that but I am that woman because, there are times where I have met someone, I believed was better than me. Had so much going for themselves, women lined up to be with them, good jobs so of course, little old me, battling my weight, pretty but no Halle Berry, Still working dead end jobs and barely making ends me, How lucky am I to have the attention of such a guy. They didnt abuse me like I said, but there were soo many things I let them get away with because I strongly believed I was not worthy of them. I didnt deserve their attention.

My point is, although I always say, its important to be with someone on your level, or in your class or share the same goals and ambitions as you, it also doesnt mean that if you happen to deal with someone who is maybe a little ahead of you, it gives them the right to mistreat you, abuse you or step on you. Anyone who does treat anyone like that obviously is not all that great. Just because you are doing better than someone doesnt mean you are better than them. It gives you no right to mistreat or abuse someone because they have not gotten to where you are. I strongly believe that each and everyone of us have a purpose in life. We all take different paths to get to our end goal. Some get there a lot faster than others and some it takes almost their whole life time to get to their goal, just because we are going at different paces doesnt mean you are better than the other.

Anyway my point is, dont let anyone step on you because you feel they are standing better than you are. I know personally I have taken a lot longer to get to where I want to be and I am not even there yet, but the point is I know where I am going and I know I will get there and just because I meet someone who may already be where I need to be doesnt make them any better than me.