This blog has been weeks in the making, I am not really sure how its going to turn out, but I am hoping its beneficial to everyone reading this blog.
Okay so I am sure most women will admit, there has been a time or two where a man has left them wondering what they really mean. In the age of books that pretty much explain to us what men are thinking, its still hard to believe that all those books apply to all men. Personally, I read those books, I absorb what is written and a few days later i am back to thinking the way I was thinking before I even read the book. Sometimes its really hard, We are convinced that the guy we are absolutely in love with is giving off all the right signals to make us believe he is really into us, yet he is doing everything wrong or his actions dont match his words.
After going through the emotions myself and over analysing every single thing any guy i was interested was doing, I felt it was time I actually asked men what they really are thinking when they behave a certain way. Funny enough, even though there were similarities in some of the responses I got, it was quite interesting to realise there were a lot of differences in the answers. One guy even said, its subjective. Each guy thinks differently in different situations.
I have a friend, a male friend, who expressed how he finds it sexy when a woman can go from pretty much dressing down to dressing up when the need arises. As he phrased it, he wants a woman who can go from wearing sneakers to wearing stilleto heels with no problem. The logic behind that is simple, a woman should be able to go from rolling around in the mud to dressing up to the nines. According to him, its nice to have a woman who can dress down, in sweats lounge around the house with no make up on but when it comes to going out she can dress to fit the occasion. Many a times some of us feel we need to be dressed up 24/7 to get attention or we just dont care about our appearance which is fine. However it is important that as a woman you are comfortable with who you and the image you want to potray. I dont believe in dressing up for a man but you also dont want to come across as too high maintanence or too low maintanence because either way, you send off the wrong signal.
One question I asked the guys were what do you consider sexy. I was expecting most of them to say a woman who shows off skin and has typical features they consider sexy as big breast and a big ass but surprisingly although a few mentioned those as some of the features of sexy they also said they believed a woman who was smart, great body, dresses well enough by showing enough but not too much that its border line skank. I found that funny because I always thought a man liked to see a woman showing everything but it was refreshing to see that some of them actually feel the opposite about that. They did say one thing that really stood out to me. They defined sexy as confidence. If you know me, you know I have self esteem issues, I always thought I had to be a certain size, or look a certain way to be considered sexy but after speaking to them, I realise now that how you carry yourself is what can be seen as sexy.
One last thing, This blog might have to be in two parts but to conclude this first half I felt it was important to ask them what they consider wifey. Some of us, especially those from Ghana haev always considered the definition of wifey as someone who could cook and clean and cater to her man but the responses I got surprised me. The one definition of wifey that really stood out to me went something like this. "Makes you think with the head on your neck, b4 the one in your pants. She makes you see possibilities and a future. She makes you want to love and protect her. She challenges your senses and makes you want to be a better man. She makes you want to make love to her. She makes you imagine what your children will look like. You actually feel incomplete when she's not around. She makes anything impossible possible, because in her you can always find hope."
After reading that, I couldnt help but realise I had defined wifey completely differently all along. It also made me realise I had completely misinterpreted how men think and that I can't always read into a mans actions and think it means a certain way unless he actually tells me what it is. One thing I am also beginning to learn is men can be simple. No point thinking too deeply into what they are doing or saying because sometimes its as simple as that!
You make a good point on the whole matter. Really some guys dont know what they want in a woman and when asked, give the generic answers of this and that. After really thinking about it, I realized what I wanted and needed cause without these things, then I would develop resent towards her. I have to also mention that this came from just being by myself learning to love and appreciate my self. You usually hear that phrase thrown at women cause its more of an emotional thing, and lets face it, men are not the emotional types. But let me say, men you really have to learn to love your self cause without that, how can you expect others to love you. How can you expect a woman to give you what you need if you dont even know what you want or need.
ReplyDeleteOn another note, being sexy can mean alot of things to alot of people. An educated mind, strong personality....it all depends on the person. "too each his own". Again you have to know what works for you. Good job Kak.....