To my Ladies: He is just not that into you

Although this post is addressed to my ladies I really will appreciate feedback from my male readers because I believe you can correct me where I am wrong but I felt this is something I needed to get off my chest.

In this day and age with books, movies, tv shows what say you on this subject you will really think that the message would have been loud and clear and women will know better but I find that the more this topic is touched on the more clueless some of our ladies can get. Of course sometimes when you are in that situation its a lot harder to see clearly but I like to believe that unless you completely lose your mind when you are in love...or really in this case in like, you should still know better.

Let me set up the scenario. Girl meets guy, they seem to click, they get along well chemistry is great. They decide to meet up for drinks. While out they seem to be getting along just fine things are great. Guy takes girl home, they have a wild night of passion everything is great. Next day girl doesnt hear from the guy she sends him a text, calls him whatever no response. three days later guy finally returns her call apologizes for the late response and then ask her if she wants to hang out. He decides to come over her place, they share a few laughs talk next thing you know they are back in bed. Guy is in touch for a couple of days just when girl is getting into the groove of things thinking he is here to stay he vanishes again. So pretty much the cycle has been set. Guy comes and goes as he pleases while girl sits at home with her girlfriends crying her eyes out because the guy only bothers with her when he wants something from her. As girlfriends they all advice her to move on and forget him and she does for a couple of weeks and then he calls her back and its right back to square one. The girl already has the names of the kids they are going to have planned out and the wedding dress she plans to wear on her wedding day to him while the guy is only thinking about her when his small brain does the thinking.

It might be safe to assume in this situation the guy is an ass and for the purposes of this blog please understand i am not talking to women who just happen to fall into the situation above because i am talking to women who have been in any situation where it just seems they are not getting the love they deserve. So back to what I was saying. Yes it is safe to assume that the guy is an ass and I am pretty sure my male readers will agree to some extent that the guy in this scenario is an ass but before we start planning the guys death how about we take a second and really think things through here.

So yes the guy is an ass but lets think about it for a second. Dont you for a second think that the girl is to blame in this situation? Yes the guy has no right to disrespect the girl the way he is but really who is the one in control here? Cus if you ask me the girl is the on in control. Yes the guy comes and goes as he pleases but who has the power to stop him from coming back? Or who has the power to tell him its either you stay or you leave and dont come back? If you ask me, its the girl. She is the one who should be able to man up put her feelings aside and tell the guy to walk away and never look back.

This morning I was listening to the Steve Harvey show and he said something that most of us may have not taken the time to really think about it. He said that we should all understand that there is a huge difference between a guy saying "I got love for you" compared to "I love you" A guy telling you I got love for you means he cares about you and likes you but it by no means he is in love with you and wants to be with you.

A friend of mine told me once and I am sure he doesnt remember saying this to me but this stuck with me and every once in awhile I have to remind myself of thing. He said to me, "If a guy is not spending time with you, its is because he is spending time with someone else" and I really think that is true. Think about it and I am sure my ladies who are in relationships can attest to this and my male readers can confirm this as well. When a guy likes you and whats to be with you, there is nothing and nobody that can keep him away. In this day of technological advancement its almost impossible not to keep in touch if you really want to. With facebook, twitter, linkedin email, cellphones, computers, whatsay you its almost impossible to get rid of people you really dont even want in your life. I said to myself the other day that its funny how even now when you want to get rid of someone, you really cant because technology still ties you to them. So really when the guy is not responding to your text messages, or emails or blackberry messages when it clearly says he has read it, its time to really advice yourself if this is really the guy for you.

Ladies i know its hard when you get caught up with someone and you really like them but any relationship is a two way street. Just because by nature you are a giver doesnt mean you should only give and not receive. Its hard to like someone and know they dont feel the same especially when they keep coming back every once in awhile and make you feel like they want you. Sometimes walking away and letting them know that you wont let them come and go out of your life is what they need to really to make them stay. I always say its a good way to screen out the good and the bad. If you walk away and let him know you wont stand for this maybe he will realise that this is who he really wants and will stay however if he walks away as well then you know he is not the one for you