Small Pleasures

As I got off work and was walking to catch my train a thought crossed my mind about what gives me joy and it sparked my curiousity on the stuff that bring me small joys in my daily life. The list is not complete and its in no particular order but its a good way to show how blessed Iam/ you are. 1. My tightest pants, falling off my butt because of weight loss 2. Posting your picture on facebook and generating a ton of likes 3. An email from your girlfriend(female friend) that makes you laugh hysterically 4.Recognition from my boss for a job well done or short email from the client saying "thank you very much" 5.Gossiping with a friend about reality tv 6.A compliment even when I am not feeling my best 7. Leave work early and being able to make it to the gym 8.Working out 9.Hanging with my little sister(volunteering with big brother big sister) 10.Experimenting in the kitchen and succeeding 11.Cake/cupcakes/muffins 12.Dinner with my girls 13.A hot flirty waiter 14.A hot flirty man 15.Mommy calling even if we spend the time arguing 16. Daddy actually having a discussion with me that is not regarding politcs, work or the economy(believe those convos are few) 17. Emailing the twinnie about anything and everything. 18. My brother and I joking around(trust those are few) 19.Listening to a song on repeat and then hearing it on the radio seconds later 20.The birth of my nieces and nephews 21. Their smiles and excitement when they see/hear from me 22. The old school hip hop radio mix during rush hour 23.Music 24 Laughing so hard my abs hurt 25. The feeling of freshly washed hair 26. A good salad 27.Having my cute male hairdresser run his fingers through my hair(he is straight) 28.My friends successful love life 29.Seeing that cutie I've been checking on the bus 30.A hot bus driver 31.Salsa dancing 32. Being remembered 33. Flowers 34.Driving on the high way and bumping to my favourite song 35. Driving around town with my friends 36.Airports 37.The anticipation of waiting for a long awaited trip 38.Travelling 39. A good dream 40. A hot shower on a cold day 41 Freshly washed pjs 42. Freshly shaved legs 43. A soft warm bed 44. Anticipation of going to bed 45.Going to bed 46.Making my friends laugh 47. Spending time with the family 48. A good breakfast 49.Finding the perfect pair of shoes 50. Sexy earrings 51. Waking up at 3am and glad I still have 3 hours of sleep to go. 52. Feeling full 53.Flirting 54 smiling 55.Summer 56.The DMV(DC MD VA) 57.Leaving the gym 58.Anything Mariah Carey 59.The bus showing up just as I get to the bus stop 60. A warm sunny day in October 61.Reality Tv. 62.Finally getting over the guy I thought I couldnt live life without. 63. A good movie 64. My kobo fox 65. Cracking jokes. 66. Thursday night TV 67.50 Shades of Grey 68. My Bed 69.Peanut butter 70.Ice cream

I am not my hair

11pm at night and I am exhausted. I just got home from a work event that involved running about 10k and solving impossible clues and all I can think about is the fact that waking up tomorrow morning is going to be more painful than running 10k. However as tired as I am, the inspiration I had today is too exciting to keep to myself so tired or not I must blog. What inspired me the most today was the fact that one of my team members in our "challenge" was one of the execs at the company I work for. What inspired me the most about this exec is the fact that she is young, black, female with dreads! Now I know we are in 2012 and America actually had a black president so black female executives are not as scarce as they used to be but I am pretty sure executives with dreadlocks or natural hair are still pretty rare! The company I work for is a pretty well known multinational with many affiliations with different groups such as some very famous soccer teams so to see someone at such a top level with natural hair is inspiring. I know that times are changing and natural hair is more accepted than it used to be even 10 years ago but the fact that the corporate world is beginning to realize that we as black women are not are hair is amazing. Ultimately it is what's in our head that really matters and not what on it that counts. Now I know when it comes to natural hair some of the people who probably speak against it the most are black women as they don't believe it looks professional, or its too hard to maintain or we are just not attractive with it but to shun what was naturally given to us by God because the previous standards that were set have still not been broken all the way is sad. Don't get me wrong, transition to natural hair is a very long and at times a difficult process and it takes a lot of patience, dedication and self motivation to keep at it but its still a very beautiful look and gradually a change that will have u wondering why you didn't do it sooner. So all I really want to say here is this. We are not our hair. The fact that a person can be judged based on what grows on their head is ridiculous. All that really matters is what comes out of the head. So whether you are the cashier at McDonald or you are the CEO of a top 500 company. You are not your hair. Focus on proving to people you are worthy by what comes out your mouth or your hair and take the emphasis off your hair. As a 7-8 year veteran of natural hair I can only say my hair has never determined my abilities and that as I keep rising to the top, just know it will be me who gets me there and my hard work not my afro puff I rock proudly to work everyday.

End of an Era

Its Victoria Day in Canada and surprisingly I am home. Not to say I will be out gallivanting but for the first time in awhile I decided to stay local and enjoy the sights in town instead of jetting to my usual play ground the DMV. I decided for once it might be a good idea to stay in Canada and probably forget about the DMV for this year. Now let's see if my DMV crew will miss me enough to cross the border this year to see me and know that if they don't. I clearly know where our friendship stands. LOL. I laugh but I am serious. Anyway on a more serious note, I am home surveying my room and trying to decide how to tackle the day of cleaning and it suddenly hit me that a chapter in my life is coming to an end. Just like most avid readers as u end one chapter in a book, you are anxious to see what lies ahead in the next chapter but at the same time the end of one chapter means u are getting closer to the end of the book and if its a good book that might be slightly upsetting because u propel yourself into the book, you almost can associate with the characters as if you know them personally. Not to say that I am talking about the end of my life which I pray is many moons away but just knowing a part of your life is over for good. Now let me say this, my 20s have been interesting to say the least. I can honestly say its probably been one of the best times of my life but at the same some of the worse. I survived 4 years of university which at one point I didn't think I would ever get out, I packed my bags and moved to the states with no idea of what to expect while I was there. Met some very amazing people and lost a few of them in the process. Fell for a couple of people who didn't fall for me back...painful but I am still standing. Moved back to Canada when I really didn't want to. I went back to school and did a waaaay better job than I did the first time. Went through unemployment a couple of times which could have broken me down but actually made me stronger. Finally found a job I enjoy and it seems like I am kicking ass in that as well. Made new friends in Canada and they have been great. Finally made it to Paris and loved it! Now I look back and appreciate how great my life really has been. I am a little scared as to what my life has in store and also afraid that a few things that I had hoped I could accomplish, seems to be taking longer than I expected, such as finding someone who will love me just as I love them, the joys of buying my own house. Having kids and finally settling down. For once listen to my mother and explore the trials and success of online dating or do I just actively go out in the world and pursue the next good looking guy I walk into? Is my career going to take off sooner than I expect? Will I finally lose the 30lbs I've been trying to shed for awhile and meet my deadline of my 30th birthday. As all these questions run through my mind, I can't help but reminisce on the last 10 years of my life and wonder if I really did make the right choices in life or am I finally realizing that if I could do it all over I would do it differently? I will say this, as dramatic,interesting, heart wrenching, painful,tragic, heartbreaking, fun and amazing the last 10 years have been I do know that it was my life and it helped to shape me into the woman I am today. So as I approach the next decade of my life so fast and furious I do know one thing. I need to get out of bed now and clean my room because no one will do it for me.

Am I surprised? This is a Test- The results

To all of you who wished me luck as I embarked on my "research assignment" I thank you! I would be lying if I said I wasnt slightly nervous because its Lent and I wasnt going to have any liquid courage to help me with my assignment but fortunately and unfortunately I didnt need it.

If you havent read my previous blog you may be slightly confused as to what I am talking about so you might want to read "This is a Test" before you start with this one but to the rest of you here it goes.

Of course My mission last night was to talk to a random guy I found attractive and to find out if Toronto guys are really as wack. Of course I wouldnt be able to determine that from one conversation but as I said previously a lot of women in this city complain that the men here either dont approach them or they just have bad attitudes when you try to get to know them. Unfortunately I cant tell you if that is true or not because unfortunately my night did not consist of any attractive guys at all. Of course my taste in men may vary from yours and thats absolutely fine but in my opinion and of that of my girl, we were highly disappointed.

I was dressed to the nines if I must say so myself. I didnt want to blame the way I looked physically to be the reason why I was rejected so I knew that I had to make sure I looked all that and more and I am glad to say i did. My girl and I walked up into the club(mind you it was an acquaintance birthday thats why we were out) and immediately we were disappointed. It was just after 11:30pm and it looked like half the guys in there were already drunk which is a complete turn off since the club wasnt in full effect. we were lucky enough to be on a different floor from the rest of the club goers because for the night we had VIP status. So my girl and I decided we would still make the best of the night because the night was still young and we were hopefully that the "scene" would improve. We were then told by the birthday girl that the booth next to the one we were in was for a local celebrity. Now mind you, to those of you who may know this celebrity...he is really not all that...small scale toronto artist but I guess anyone who has a song out is famous in this city. He is definitely not on the level of the Melanie Fionas or the Drakes but I guess to his particular community he is all that and a bag of chips(arab community)

So my girl and I were just hanging out vibing to the music, next thing we know, these girls dressed in bras and panties(no exaggeration they really were drwessed in bras and panties)Where hoisted onto this mid air platform to dance. My assumption is they were go go dancers. Next thing we know all the guys on our floor were rushing to the raillings to get a better look. That immediately turned us off. I mean the fact that the men were immediately excited to see scantily glad women made me think that there was nothing in here for me. Now dont get me wrong, I am sure women get excited for that too, but there are a time and a place for that and the place is a strip club.

Pretty much that was our night. We had no one to approach because either the guys were drunk as hell, or they looked 12 or they were not attractive and didnt carry themselves well enough for me to want to approach them. To make matters worse, when the local celeb walked into the club all of a sudden these girls from no where rush into his booth trying to get his attention. He is not attractive in the least...compared to the arab men I know, he is pretty short but thats fine and he had the biggest and fakest chain I have ever seen. He had an entourage of about 8 people and enough girls to have some fun with. I was actually quite disappointed because I always like to believe that some girls wont go a little crazy over a celeb but I guess I was wrong. At that point it was our que to leave.

The highlight of the evening was when my girl and I got some late night food at a shawarma joint and that was probably the best shwarma I had had in awhile. We did see a cute black police officer at the shawarma place who did smile when we walked in so that gave us a bit of hope that all is not lost with black men in this city but we were soo turned off by the events of the night we were just trying to get our food and go.


So what are my results? At this point I'll say they are inconclusive. I am turned off by the men in the club but then again I can stereotype the men in this city by the ones I meet in teh club, so i might have to try another venue to test my theory but if the men in this club are any i indication of the men in this city then I must say I am disappointed. But regardless of how they looked, not a single guy walked up to my girl and I. The only guy who approached me only stopped to say sorry for stepping on my foot and then proceeding to tell me that he hopes I am not part of the celebs entourage because if I was he would slap me. So when I said no, he said you are better than that right and I said of course but other than that no one. Mind you, I am used to visiting other cities and behing hounded by a bunch of men....not because I am attractive but because men in other cities are bolder.

Anyway stay tuned. I am planning to explore this topic more but I can say it will take a lot to change my mind.

This is a test

I know its been awhile since I got on here but I guess better late that never. I should try to stay consistent but I really cant make that promise at this point. Anyway now that my semi apology-excuse is out of the way let me get to the details.

So you may or may not know this but I am single and I dont have any qualms about it. I cant say I am actively looking but I have tried the online dating route and although my experiences could be documented in the history books I would rather not go into detail at this point...maybe another blog. However living in Toronto one common statement I hear from many black women here is "toronto men are wack" Now dont get me wrong, I am not classifying each man in this city under that category because that would imply I know every man in this city. Now mind you, I cant speak for the non black women because their experience maybe slightly different than mine or of the black women I know but I think it would be safe to say I know enough black women who would agree with my earlier statement.

I know a lot of black women who have shared some very interesting stories on their expereinces with the men in this city and some might actually fall under horror stories but I cant say I have really put myself out there enough to really confirm or testify to the statement "Toronto men are wack". I know a few bold women in other cities/towns/states,regions/countries who have actually approached a guy and have had some success and I know others in Toronto who have approached a guy and have failed miserably but after my experience with online dating(which I can say didnt go anywhere because of me) I cant really confirm or deny if my lady friends are right or wrong. To probably confirm how serious this allegation is about the men in this city, there was an article in a local magazine about this very topic and although the writer could not confirm that all men in this city are this way, she seemed to feel that all the black women she knew felt the same way.

In a case like this, could this be a case where the black women in this city may actually be the issue or can the non black women confirm they feel the same way? That being said, I have decided that until I can really confirm or deny whether this theory is true and I know I may not really be able to ever confirm if its true or not, my girl and I are going out on saturday and we plan to approach a guy we find attractive and start chatting them up. Before that, I guess I should tell you why the women in this city...or rather the black women in this city believe the men here are wack well they claim that when they go out, a man stands and stares but will never approach them, or when they do approach a man he doesnt respond or he rejects them or he has no manners(there is a story about that, but thats for another day) So my plan is to approach a guy i find attractive this weekend and chat him up and see how that works out. I know I am fairly attractive so at least in the looks department I should peak their interest but lets see if I can at least get their number or have them ask for my number before the end of the night. Of course I do believe to some extent that a man should approach a woman but for the purposes of this test, I think its not bad if I go outside my comfort zone for the purpose of research.

So although I will never have a solid answer, I am hoping this little test will at least change my mind for the better and if it doesnt, I can honestly walk away knowing that in my opinion Toronto men are wack and hopefully take my search elsewhere...preferably outside Toronto.

Stay tuned for my results.

Happy 2012

Happy New Year folks! We live to see another year and just like the theme for "the biggest loser" this season I am adopting the theme "no excuses". This year I will not let obstacles be the reason I don't go for what I want and unless I am physically unable to do something I am going for it.

So I am currently on the bus after work heading to the gym. Its my first day in the gym this year only because I have been working long hours so I haven't made it to the gym yet but like I said no excuses so even though I didn't make it to the gym I still put in a good work out at home.

Anyways I figured this year no resolutions per say, instead of listing everything I plan to achieve this year I am just going to take each day to do something I have been trying to do for a while. I am not going to list what I plan to do because like I said no resolutions but I am going to lists some things I think we should all put into consideration and action as we see appropriate.

Let's start with exercise. Right no there is no justifying not working out. As long as u can get out of bed u can work out. You can even work out in bed but hey let's not go there. Well this year stop driving everywhere, cold weather or not, if u can walk there walk, if there is a particular sport u enjoy, find community centres that have the facilities to play the sport and enrol in the program or just take time out of your work day to go up and down the stairs a few times. Bring ur sneakers to work and do it. U can always incorporate exercise into ur routine. U don't need a gym to exercise.

Dating.

If u are like me, u may be facing some family pressure to settle down or u may find that u are ready to "boo up" and settle down and that's great if that's what u want but u find the traditional method of meeting people are not working for u or u don't have time, there is nothing wrong with trying more modern methods such as Internet dating. Now my girls are probably saying hush u haven't signed up yet so what u talking about, well I did sign up and my only reason for not continuing with it is because I realised that when I selected I need a christian, my options went from 800 to 2. Of course that's not going to work. But I also realised I haven't given the traditional methods enough of a chance so I can't really write it off till I fully exercise that option. Also I find a lot of us black women like to stick to our own and there is no crime in that. U don't have to tell me that black is sexy because I breath it and know it but then love can be found amongst all races so if there is that guy who has been trying to get ur number for a while nothing should stop u from giving him a shot.

Also its the year of letting go, if u have been stressing over a matter for so long and no results maybe its time to let go and let God, if u have been checking that guy/girl for over a year and still no progress, let go and move on. Often we allow people/circumstances/obstacles hold us back from moving forward and finding what else lies ahead. I have a philosophy, what's urs is yours so if u find u are not getting it, try a new path, open up to other opportunities and who knows, u might find out something better is coming or came ur way.

No drama,

I believe every year should be a drama free year but then we all watch reality tv so to some extent we welcome some form of drama in our lives but if you find some people consistently bring drama into your life, you may want to reevaluate the relationship you have with them. It may be an issue of them not knowing what and who they are so in trying to sort themselves out they pull you along for the ride. You should not feel obligated to stick around because u have your own development to work on so if you find they are distracting from your own growth let them go and focus on you. Some people also are very negative and they may have reason to but I believe if u welcome negativity into your life u get negativity so u may need to let them figure out what makes them so negativity while u focus on positivity.

So as we embark on a new year I pray all your hearts desires are granted and may this be an amazing year! Happy 2012!