Why do we lie?

Contrary to what the subject says I am not necessarily talking about lying in the traditional sense although once can debate or argue what traditional lying is. But what I really want to to talk about is lying about our feelings or denying what we are feeling.

Back me up a moment, I might be the only one who does this, but if I am not I am sure u can relate, so you have a friend, you know you have feelings for them that can border on being more than friends. Everyone around you clearly sees that you have feelings for that person yet when u are asked you tell them time and time again, No. We are just friends, they are like a brother/sister to me. Yet when u are allow you can't stop thinking about them, you crave to hear from them and each second you are with them you wish it will never end. So my question to you guys today is why do we lie about how we really feel about that special person? Do we say we don't have feelings for them because once we admit it out loud we are admitting it to ourselves? Are you worried that the questions will follow? The why? Where? How? Is it because we have found every excuse why you can never be more than friends? Is it because u honestly believe they don't feel the same way so once u put it out there you are going to have to deal with being rejected? Is it the fear of rejection? Your family? I mean someone help me out or did I answer my own question?

That being said then one response I have to at least one of those questions is, stop thinking too much? Sometimes we can't make assumptions when we really don't know for a fact. So why focus on the many reasons why it can't work when there is probably a very good reason it can? Any relationship takes work, long distance or not you have to put in the work. No relationship is easy nor is it perfect but if you want it bad enough then you can make it happen. Ask those who are in long distant relationships and are now married to their partners how they made it work. If its rejection you are afraid of then what do you have to lose? If they say no, they say no. They were not meant for you anyway. Doesn't make them bad, it just means they were not the one. I mean easier said than done, but coming from someone who has been rejected a time or two, I can tell u that u will live through it. Your ego may hurt for a few days, you might wonder why they don't want u, hell you might cry a bit but u pick yourself up and you move forward. You have to be rejected a few times just to know you can deal with life. Everyone gets rejected at some point, just like you reject others. If you havr a solid enough friendship, you can move past it and carry on and if you can't then maybe you only became friends with them because u liked them more than a friend.

Either way I am asking this question so feedback will be appreciated. If you also agree with my part answer to then that's great but whatever the case, why do we lie?

Pedestal

Okay so I know I have blogged on this topic before but I guess it doesn't hurt to bring it up again.

I think that most of us sometimes sell our self short. It doesn't matter what it is in life. To some extent we don't believe in our own abilities or our own worth or what we are made of or what we bring to the table. I think sometimes we meet someone who is accomplished has so much going for them and immediately we start to feel inadequate and we wonder if we can ever measure up.

I know this is particularly the case when it comes to relationships. We meet someone special, they walk into our lives with all these accomplishments and accolades and we look at our dreary lives and we wonder how will we ever measure up? How can such a great person even want anything to do with me? Even if they want me around? For how long? What can I bring to the table that will at least get me one step up so I at least feel like I am on my way to getting on their level. All I have to say to that is STOP! Stop stop stop stop!! Shut up!! Seriously? Are you going to base your worth on someone who just brings a piece of paper to the relationship listing all they have accomplished when you really that doesn't make them who they are?

My question to you the next time you start measuring yourself to someone accomplishments is what else do they bring to the table? Are they God fearing? Do they have a good family life? Are they respectful of others and themselves? Do they respect you? Do they live their lives like God is their guide? Do they have a good heart? Are they loyal? Honest? how do they treat their kids...if they have any? Really these are the sort of things we should be thinking about when we meet someone. What they have managed to accomplish whether through education, or professionally or financially is definitely nothing to frown upon but really if all that was gone today what do they have left?

I am no way shape and form saying that its okay to go for someone who is not ambitious because they are loving and caring because lets be real, love doesn't keep a roof over your head but at the same time its good to have an equal balance of both. You have to know that whoever you are going in for, can provide for you, emotional, spiritual, mental and physical stimulation as well as some security to know that no matter what happens they will always do their best to provide for you when you cant provide for yourself. Mind you, you also have to realise that you may not have the financial means or educational level or professional experience they may possess but if you are working towards that but you can provide, the love, support, spiritual need, emotional need and physical need they need in their life, then in my humble opinion you are definitely on their level.

Next time you meet someone great, don't just look at what they bring to the table based on their accomplishments and make your decision based on that but really dig deep and see if this person is really the person you need before you start questioning yourself about your own worth or most importantly if you should bring them into your life because at the end of the day, WE are all worthy, don't let anyone or anything let you feel less. If we can come before God when we really are not worthy of him then we can definitely come before man when we are worthy of them.

Have you said Hi today?

As you may have noticed, it has been quite a while since my last blog. I could blame it on lack of inspiration which is part of the reason I havent blogged in awhile but the biggest reason is that I havent found the time to sit back and really type something down. I have had some major changes in my life and although I like to think I have found a balance between everything going on and my personal life I just havent found the time or the energy to put something down.

That statement I just wrote is the inspiration behind this blog and I'll tell you why. Its soo easy as people to have a life style change and we immediately forget everything else that was important to us. It could be our hobbies that gave us a sense of purpose, or it could be good friends who were there to support you in everything you were going through, It could be your parents, your boyfriend or girlfriend or that special person who makes an effort to show you more love than at times you deserve. Yet the minute the person is no longer in our lives, or that possibility is removed from our lives we start to regret not taking the time to really appreciate that person more.

I know its hard sometimes to prioritize whats important and sometimes some things just take more time than others, it could be that work is very busy right now so you end up spending more hours at work or you are taking a new class so you spend more time in class or doing homework than you can spend on anything else. Thats all fine and fair and it makes sense but I also like to think that in this day and age with all the technology we have available to us, keeping in touch has only got easier and easier to the point where making excuses are not even justifiable.

Another thing I find most of us never make time to do is going to church. It seems like from Monday to friday we can wake up at the crack of dawn to get ready to go work on time, we might take time after work to go to the gym or whatever plans we might schedule after work, the weekend roles around and we fill it with all sorts of activities, yet sunday roles around and we suddenly are too tired, or we need to finish up some stuff before work on monday or its too cold so taking the time to go to church becomes an issue. Sometimes its just really difficult to go to church yet I like to think that if we have time for everything else happening in our lives then church should not be an excuse. Of course I am guilty of a few of those excuses but really why should we have an excuse when it comes to finding time to praise God after everything he does for us.

Pretty much my babbling here is just to say, lets stop taking our lives, friends, family and most importantly God for granted. I do know its difficult at times to really take the time out to find time for other things other than work or whatever else you go through but I find, that we only start having regrets when that important person in our life is taken from us. Why not avoid those regrets today and take the time and reach out. Also, dont use life as an excuse not to respond back to someone who has taken time out of their day to reach out to you. All it takes is a couple of minutes to say hi!