Wide Open

My cousin and I spent a good amount of time talking about this subject yesterday and I felt that it was important that I talk about this topic since I feel its something I am trying in my life right now.

I like to believe that I am pretty open minded. Open minded on many topics, Homosexuality and Lesbianism, The death penalty, abortion, racism and what say you. That being said though I really wondered how open minded I was about my own life and the possibilities that are out there for me. Its soo easy to get up and say I believe that anyone should have the right to be married to whoever they want to be married to. Whether it be two men getting married or two women but in all honesty when it boils down to it, I have/had a long list of requirements I had when it came down to who I had to be involved with. I am pretty open minded about where I could go on holiday but when it boils down to it, I was very specific on where I needed to live and work. I am not saying it makes me a hypocrite because being open minded doesnt mean you cant have requirements but I think it made me very restrictive and it put me in a more difficult situation than I would have been if I had allowed myself to open up and explore the possibilities.

I realised that as a young woman with no responsibilities to anyone but myself, I realy have no reason to be closed minded on anything. I have no reason to prevent myself from going anywhere or dating anyone. Of course doesnt mean that any tom dick and harry that walks my way will get a chance with me. However I noticed that I was soo restrictive in terms of who I could date, Who they should be, where they had to come from, how they looked and quite frankly I havent had much success with my restrictions. Yet I look around and I look at people who have allowed themselves to open up and not let themselves be too restricted by their requirements are those who are happily involved and even when things didnt work out the way they had hoped, they brushed their shoulders off and moved on.

Its soo amazing because the minute I started to allow myself to be open minded about anything this year it has been so very freeing. I realised I am stressing less because I always have a plan b, c, d and even e lined up. I also realised that so far I have been pleasantly surprised.

So this year I told myself. I am going to be open minded. I am going to allow myself to see how far I can go. If an opportunity presents itself somewhere across the world, I'll give it a shot. I have nothing to lose. At the end of the day if I give it a shot and I dont like it, I have nothing stopping me from coming back home. I am going to also allow myself to see what the possibilities can be with anyone I see myself getting along well with. He might not fit the total description of my "perfect" mate but at the same time who is to say he is not my "perfect" mate.


I think our biggest hesitancy about being open minded is the fear of the unknown. The fear that being open minded sets us up for more disappointment and heart break. At least when you are close minded you can almost predict the outcome yet being open minded means everything you think you know might be wrong and in that respect you might have to change your way of viewing the world. Had America not been open minded about voting in a Black President we would never had been given the chance to see how great President Barack could be.

I think its important that we all give ourselves a chance this year to explore the possibilities. Step out of your comfort zone and see where life can take you. If it doesnt even work out the way you hoped it will, Just brush your shoulders off and keep it moving. If anything at all, You gave yourself to experience something new.