Okay I am going to be quick with this one. I have an exam tomorrow but I can't seem to shake this out of my mind, so I have to put it down really quickly so I can get back to the books.
My girl and I are having a conversation and like always the topic is involving men...this time around, instead of sitting around and talking about how manless we are and when and where are we going to find that man, we are actually embracing our singledom and loving it. The reason for our turn in our conversation is because we realise, there are soo many people out there, in relationships that are not healthy, are not right but yet, they keep at them because they realise they really do not know how to live on their own. They dont know how to be alone, how to be single. They depend on their man for everything and anything, so even when they are miserable and unhappy and they really want out of the relationship, they can't leave. Not because they are being held prisoner but they cant imagine a life without a man.
Quite frankly, I feel thats sad. Its traumatizing to hear a woman put herself through so much pain yet refuses to walk away. There are soo many people in relationships today, where in public they smile, and make the world believe they are happy yet, behind closed doors they are miserable.
One thing my girl and i discussed tonight, was our independence. No I am not a rah rah feminist burning my bras( bras are expensive dude) saying a man cant do nothing for me. Thats not me. However, I have learnt to live alone, I have learnt to survive on my own, I can change a car tire, change the oil in my car, kill a bug when it comes crawling into my apartment, take myself out to eat at expensive restaurants( i might have to survive off ramen noods for a week but thats okay) buy myself expensive clothes and take luxury trips, I can do that all for myself so for me, if someone is coming into my life, I expect them to enhance it, or bring something I can't have on my own...better yet, compliment my life. I dont need the drama.
I do want to have kids, I do want to be married and live happily ever after with the man God intended for me, but I am in no rush. Why? Because I believe that if I enter into marriage it should be forever and if that means I have to wait longer to find the right one then so be it. I am not knocking anyone who has gotten a divorce, things happen, you cant predict the future, I believe that you obviously went in believing it was for ever but things didnt happen that way but its also important as a woman to learn to know how to be on your own, survive on your own so you are not dependant on anyone but God to survive.
I'll be honest, I can be a very envious person, I used to look at other people's lives and wish I lived like them, I used to wish I had that fancy car, lived in that fancy house, had that fancy job, made all that money, travel to distant and exotic places, Living in places, I wish I could affor to live in, but then I realise now, that the people who are able to do all these things, I dont know what they are doing in their lives? I dont know what they had to do to get to this point, or what they are doing to stay afloat, there are soo many people who are living beyond their means and are in debt, there are people who are living in places because they cant go back home, there are people driving fancy cars yet theydont own a house, or there are people who have fancy houses, yet they are living with people they no longer talk to. Seriously why envy other people's lives when you dont know what is going on with their lives. Thats when I realised that, I need to give thanks to God for what I have and for what I dont have because he has given me what I need. My life is not glamourous, I may be single yet I am content and I am blessed and I realise that now. Of course I wouldnt be human if i didnt have my moments of jealousy especially when I really want to do something and someone else is able to do it at that moment but then I tell myself it will be okay, my time will come and then I just focus on what I have.
Like they say, all that glitters isn't gold!
No comments:
Post a Comment