The joys of 30

I didnt have a chance to blog about my feelings about turning 30 so I have decided to blog about my experiences as a 30 year old and what I have learned so far as I am fast approaching 31. First of all, turning 30 was scary for me. I was extremely fearful of turning 30. Mostly because I had set some pretty extensive goals for myself and I hadnt achieved them yet. Also, 30 sounded so old! Knowing I was officially an adult at that point and that I no longer could use the "I am too young" defence was creepy. I was worried that I just wouldnt make the cut as a 30 year old and I would fail miserably. I mean I know there is no checklist or expectations per say that one must follow as a 30 year old but it just seemed so "adult" and I wasnt ready to grow up. However, as the time drew near, and I was watching all my friends turn 30, I got excited. I stopped taking a pessimistic approach to 30 and started looking at all the greatness that comes with growing older. Over the past 10 months I have gone through several experiences that I believe came with being older and "wiser" so I am going to go through a few. 1. I learned to careless. I know that sounds bad but what I mean is, I dont sweat the small stuff. I understand some things are beyond my power so what I can change I will and what I cant I just let go and hope for the best. 2. Putting me first. What I mean by this is, as much as everyone matters, I have to focus on me first before I worry about others. Which may mean, not spending late nights at work but making sure I can get out on time to hit the gym, Or making sure I do what matters to me first before I take on other responsibilities. I understand that I cant be the best me if I always put myself last. In order to be the best me,I need to do whats best for me so I can be the best for others. 3.Being more vocal. Those who know me, know I can be a bit loud at times but what I mean is speaking up when I know something is not right, expressing my feelings when someone has hurt me and not keeping it in. 4. Good men dont come in one package. I wont lie, I have-had a type. I wasnt very open minded when it came to men. Although I liked to believe I was open minded I really wasnt because I always fell for the same type but turning 30(yes it took me that long) Made me realise that a good man doesnt come in a particular package. Yes I have my expectations or my "list" for lack of a better word but I have learnt to tweak that list to be more realistic and feasible. Yes there are some things I will not compromise on, such as religion, respect, loyalty and trust but I realise now that a good men are in all races, heights, sizes, careers, educational background and ethnicity. Just like there are bad men in all races, sizes,heights, etc. 5.Health is vital. As we get older, our parents get older, and unfortunately I have seen soo many friends lose their parents. Granted we cannot determine when our time to meet our maker will come but if there is one thing we can control is our own health. Learning to eat properly and healthy is vital, Making sure we get enough exercise for our physical and mental health is vital. Remembering that whatever we do now at this age will show when we are 50. So it has become my life mantra to exercise and eat well to ensure that when I am 50 I am in the best shape of my life. Plus exercises has changed how I feel mentally. I am sharper, clearer and happier. 6. Learning to let go. My cousin told me once that I kept opening a door that was closed. I wont lie I was. I am the type of person that I have a problem letting go of relationships...whether its friendship or love. I feel by letting go it means I have failed as a friend and I didnt do my best to keep it going. Thats completely untrue. As the saying goes, some people come into your life for a season, reason and a lifetime. What I have learnt to do is, accepting that the persons time is done in my life and learning from the relationship to ensure I dont repeat the same mistakes but taking with me the wonderful memories we shared. 7.Learning to have fun. At 30, it was almost like I gave myself the license to have fun. I dont have to answer to anyone but my God so I dont feel that anxiety I used to feel when I made decisions to have fun because subconsciously I felt too young or I was concerned about what my parents would think if they saw me do what I do. NOt to say I am doing anything illegal or anything my parents wont be happy with but being 30 made me realise I can do whatever I want and not have to worry about who cares. 8.Feeling sexy. 30 is sexy! Plain and simple 9.Family is all I have. I have some great friends that fall more into the family category than friend category but I have always been family oriented so no change there but as you grow older you realise that if you dont have a strong family unit, you can fall. So making sure I have a wonderful family in my corner definitely keeps me grounded and focused. 10. Life is not a race. I often felt the unaccomplished because I would look around me and notice that everyone around me seemed settled at 30. Great careers, good money, beautiful marriages and nice homes and I am not even close to having any of that. However, what I have learned is, life is not a race. Granted I am not where I want to be, but I am exactly where I need to be. AS long as I stay on track and I keep pushing my time will come but while I wait, I am definitely going to enjoy the ride. So although 31 is fast approaching and the reality of being in my 30s is sinking in, the lessons I have learned and continue to learn are definitely helping me to feel more at ease with my journey. The joys of turning 30...31