It Sucks but Ohhh well..

I may have written a blog similar to this before but hey its something that keeps invading my mind so I am going to write on it again. I happen to have finished school at a time when the world pretty much went to Hell! Okay so maybe not right away but it seems like every path I took seemed to have been the wrong path. I got out of school enthusiastic, ready to face the world. Nothing or no one was going to stop me from rising that corporate ladder. 5 years later I am still trying to get through that damn door! Anyway I went back to school, thought I'll try a new career path, maybe with much luck I'll have better success with that. I finished school a couple of months ago and I am yet to hear that phone ring with even an interview prospect.

Its hard! Its tough and sometimes its very discouraging. There are many days where I would wake up, take a shower and lie on the couch till night fall because I have no desire to keep pressing on! Its gotten to the point where I am reapplying to the jobs I have already applied to hoping my preseverance will finally get the eye of the recruiter.

However, as hard and as discouraging as it is, I dont want to give up. I dont want to give in to my doubt, into my frustration because I know that the minute I give in to it, it means I have given up. I have accepted defeat. its a lot harder when constantly you hear your parents ramming it into your ear to give up, pack up and move back home. "it will be a lot easier here, we will set you up, you will be okay! No need to worry about your rent and food, all will be taken care off, just sign on the dotted line give us your life and all will be well"...of course not exactly in those words but in my opinion thats pretty much what it means. I dont fault them, I am not upset with them and sometimes I actually think they are right. They mean well and any parent who loves their kids want to do whatever they can to make their lives easier. Unfortunately for them I am extremely stubborn and hard headed. I refuse to give in to their request or offers. To me accepting their offer means i have failed, to me it means I cannot survive on my own and because my biggest fear is failure I will rather keep at this struggle than to give in to their defeat knowing in my spirit that my God above will see me through.

I have actually thought of doing my own thing, forgetting the whole tradtional career thing and breaking out on my own. Might be a lot harder than actually getting a job but I know the benefits will be worth while. I might actually become more successful than if I ever worked for someone...i dont know...i am rambling now...

I just needed to get this off my chest. Another rejection letter came in today and I wont lie, it has me upset a bit. It seems like besides the silent fones, my inbox is filled with rejection letters but hey I guess thats life! You have to be rejected a hundred times to be accepted that one time! Lets hope that my one time is coming sooner than later!