He's mine

This topic always gets me heated whenever I have a discussion on this. I know a lot of people feel differently about this topic so I would very much appreciate it if I got comments on this blog. Lets make this a lively discussion. No judgement just pure opinions.

If you know me, you know I am a reality show junkie. I pretty much anything reality based...well not everything but most things. I just finished watching this new reality show that started up this past Jan called "fly girls" Its about a bunch of flight attendants for Virgin Atlantic and their daily lives as flight attendants on and off the job. The 5 women all live together in one apartment "the crash pad" and they have developed a very tight bond...more or less like best friends. There is always some type of drama with them but at the end of the day they stay friends. Anyways part of todays story lines was one girl met a guy in the club, they were vibing, they connected and the guy invited her to a beach party the next day. The girl really liked this guy and yes she had only known him for a few hours but pretty much she had was into him. The next day she goes to the beach party with her friends, her friends knowing exactly why they were going. They knew the girl was going to see the guy she met the night before. Long story short, the girls other friend got hit on by the guy this girl liked and she allowed him. They exchanged numbers all infront of the other girl. Of course the girl was livid, she invites her friend out to hang out with her and the new guy she met and one of them walks away with the very guy she lay claim on. Anyways so the girl starts to date the guy and its a huge argument between the girls. The girl said chicks before dicks and she does not understand why the girl knew she liked the guy yet she still went ahead and took the guys number and went behind her back to meet up with the guy. She no longer trust her and doesnt believe they can maintain a friendship.

Okay so I am sure a number of you are going to say, Well the girl knew the guy for but a minute, he wasnt her man, they werent even dating so he is up for grabs. Yes thats true he could be up for grabs but personally I believe, that once you consider someone a good friend, a best friend, it doesnt matter if she spotted the guy in the club or not. Thats your friends interest. If he doesnt like her so be it, but why should you go chasing after him. I mean a man will be a man and quite frankly I dont blame the guy. He obviously knew that the other girl was no one to him just yet so he is free to do what he likes, but I like to think that as a friend, you cant stop who will approach you but you can definitely stop it from going anywhere.

The other argument could be well what if the guy is the guy thats meant for you? ARe you supposed to give him up because your girl saw him first? No I am not saying that either because you really can't help who is meant for you, but as a good friend I think the best approach would be to approach the girl, let her know the guy came up to you, you guys vibed and clicked and though you understand that she likes him but you like him too will it be okay if she started seeing him? She might not be happy about that but she will appreciate the honesty and who knows if she is a good friend herself she will know the guy is not into her and actually say go for it.

Another thing I do not understand, is women who choose to date married men? Or the ones who think that its okay to go after a man with a girlfriend. It doesnt make sense to me. Yes I understand that the world we live in there are fewer men then thare women but does it mean that if you see someone with a boyfriend its your place to go after them????? Also why must you always go after that married man when you know he is married? I mean seriously? What do you have to gain for going after a married man? I mean this is a union God has ordained are you going to break something God has put together? I think thats just Karma waiting to happen. Plus what makes you so sure that the married man cheating on his wife will not cheat on you with someone else? I just dont get it.

Anyway this one of my biggest upsets and I really dont understand. Maybe I am not as aggressive and maybe thats why I am single but I believe in Karma and I believe what goes around comes around. Going after someone who isnt yours will definitely come back to bite you in your asses.

Ladies tell me what you think? What's your take on this topic. All I can say is, I now understand why some women expect every woman to leave their home when they leave. I also understand why some women keep their relationships a secret and refuse to introduce their men to their girlfriends. We all know the kind of friends we have so you can't blame a woman for taking precaution.

What he wants! Part 1

This blog has been weeks in the making, I am not really sure how its going to turn out, but I am hoping its beneficial to everyone reading this blog.

Okay so I am sure most women will admit, there has been a time or two where a man has left them wondering what they really mean. In the age of books that pretty much explain to us what men are thinking, its still hard to believe that all those books apply to all men. Personally, I read those books, I absorb what is written and a few days later i am back to thinking the way I was thinking before I even read the book. Sometimes its really hard, We are convinced that the guy we are absolutely in love with is giving off all the right signals to make us believe he is really into us, yet he is doing everything wrong or his actions dont match his words.

After going through the emotions myself and over analysing every single thing any guy i was interested was doing, I felt it was time I actually asked men what they really are thinking when they behave a certain way. Funny enough, even though there were similarities in some of the responses I got, it was quite interesting to realise there were a lot of differences in the answers. One guy even said, its subjective. Each guy thinks differently in different situations.

I have a friend, a male friend, who expressed how he finds it sexy when a woman can go from pretty much dressing down to dressing up when the need arises. As he phrased it, he wants a woman who can go from wearing sneakers to wearing stilleto heels with no problem. The logic behind that is simple, a woman should be able to go from rolling around in the mud to dressing up to the nines. According to him, its nice to have a woman who can dress down, in sweats lounge around the house with no make up on but when it comes to going out she can dress to fit the occasion. Many a times some of us feel we need to be dressed up 24/7 to get attention or we just dont care about our appearance which is fine. However it is important that as a woman you are comfortable with who you and the image you want to potray. I dont believe in dressing up for a man but you also dont want to come across as too high maintanence or too low maintanence because either way, you send off the wrong signal.

One question I asked the guys were what do you consider sexy. I was expecting most of them to say a woman who shows off skin and has typical features they consider sexy as big breast and a big ass but surprisingly although a few mentioned those as some of the features of sexy they also said they believed a woman who was smart, great body, dresses well enough by showing enough but not too much that its border line skank. I found that funny because I always thought a man liked to see a woman showing everything but it was refreshing to see that some of them actually feel the opposite about that. They did say one thing that really stood out to me. They defined sexy as confidence. If you know me, you know I have self esteem issues, I always thought I had to be a certain size, or look a certain way to be considered sexy but after speaking to them, I realise now that how you carry yourself is what can be seen as sexy.

One last thing, This blog might have to be in two parts but to conclude this first half I felt it was important to ask them what they consider wifey. Some of us, especially those from Ghana haev always considered the definition of wifey as someone who could cook and clean and cater to her man but the responses I got surprised me. The one definition of wifey that really stood out to me went something like this. "Makes you think with the head on your neck, b4 the one in your pants. She makes you see possibilities and a future. She makes you want to love and protect her. She challenges your senses and makes you want to be a better man. She makes you want to make love to her. She makes you imagine what your children will look like. You actually feel incomplete when she's not around. She makes anything impossible possible, because in her you can always find hope."

After reading that, I couldnt help but realise I had defined wifey completely differently all along. It also made me realise I had completely misinterpreted how men think and that I can't always read into a mans actions and think it means a certain way unless he actually tells me what it is. One thing I am also beginning to learn is men can be simple. No point thinking too deeply into what they are doing or saying because sometimes its as simple as that!